BREAKING: BRETT RATNER IS LAZY
09.09.09SlashFilm recently posted this picture of Brett Ratner on the set of one of his Guitar Hero commercials. He’s talking on the phone while looking at a monitor and sitting in the director’s chair, the implication being that he’s being lazy and inconsiderate and dicking around on the job. But this could easily have been taken during a rehearsal, or they might be in the middle of moving lights around and not shooting, so him being on the phone might not be that big of a deal. Regardless, this seemed as good a time as any to see what this fat lazy idiot’s been up to lately. From his Twitter page:
@sevinnyne6126 [Lindsay Lohan] I cant believe your not following me?
@PerezHilton ha ha i love u perez…don’t forget that i snuck u into the SNL afterparty when no one knew who u were…
@officialTila [yep, Tila Tequila] are you back in town?
Which is to say, talking on the phone during a shot is far from the worst thing that can happen on a Brett Ratner shoot. You should’ve seen the time on Rush Hour 3 when he dropped the phone in his plate of nachos, and it was Paris Hilton and he really wanted to talk to her, so he had to eat all the nachos as fast as he could so he could get to the phone before she hung up. “That was a really delicious day,” Ratner said later.
Oh, and just in case there was anyone out there who still respects him, here he is making the case for why X3 was the best X-Men movie: [via StarPulse]
Mine outgrossed the other two by far. Mine was the one that made the most narrative sense. And I’m not knocking Bryan’s movie but he just does a certain thing; Bryan uses his brain and I use my eye and my instincts more. It’s a whole different approach to making a movie. I’m not saying my movie wasn’t smart; I just wasn’t intellectualizing it. I was just looking at it as pure entertainment value which is what it was.
When I was a kid and used to watch that cartoon it was just fun. It wasn’t a deeper meaning for me when I watched the cartoon as a kid. I didn’t read the comic books but it doesn’t matter, the cartoon is the same f*cking thing.
The most ridiculous statement I’ve read is — and of course I looked at the Internet after the movie came out — that I buried the franchise. If I buried the franchise how the f*ck did they make a “Wolverine”? I mean, that’s ridiculous. And they’re making three other f*cking “X-Men” movies. Mine kept the franchise alive!
Oh, Brett, if you wanted to prove yours was the best, you only needed two little words: “Sxv’Leithan Essex.” Wait, maybe that’s three words.


“That was a really delicious day,” Ratner said later.
Gotta admit it, Vinny, that made Him ROFLKOTAL, ya silly bastard.
I’m not saying my movie wasn’t smart; I just wasn’t intellectualizing it.
—–> Insert O RLY? owl here
Bryan uses his brain and I use my eye
Yeah, his BROWN EYE! *swoosh!*
Don’t mind me, I got candy on my lunch and am all hyperactive now, I promise to stop.
Banner pic: “Yeah hi, do you guys still have that Cinnabread stuff? Oh hey, Alex. Yeah it’s me. You’re damn right, extra icing!”
How does him paying attention help anyways ? Half assed sells.
*phone rings on set*
Ratner: “Hello?”
Damone: “Hey, Rat.”
Ratner: “Yeah?”
Damone: “First of all Rat, you never let on how much you like a girl.”
Ratner: “Huh?”
Damone: “You are a wuss: part wimp, and part pussy. ”
Ratner: “…”
Damone: “This Mark?”
Ratner: “No, Brett.”
*phone hangs up*
@JackHughman: Miss havin yur asshole as a cockring lol :(
He dropped his phone in a plate of nachos?
That’s so Raven.
Ratner Twitters:
@Beelzebub “Thanks for all the success, bro! How the fuck is Hitler hanging these days!? Ratner out! 8=D- – - 0: “
@jackycanchan: So is it ok to call gooks zipperheads now?
@leftARM: Let’s shovel some more shit into my fucking mouth?
@DinoDeLaurentiis: Haha! I’m in yur Conan eatings yur legacy! w00t!
@mirror: Do I always look this gay?
@Jacko: Wake the fuck up, pussy! Let’s par-tay!
@HugeGrant1: I’m tucking right now u 2? ()*() ~~C==B
@DeadKennedy: Got fix 4 u! Frutista w/rum! Yumyum!
@McGeez: I gots commercial 2 do 4 fake guitar game! HAHA! U sux on that! ROTFJO!
@EdBurns4Reelz: Hey great idea. Make The Wire 2 hr movie! Peeps might watch then!
@yoko: So does Beatles Rockband come with a special gun for shooting at John or can I just use this old one that came with Duck Hunt?
@GerogeLoocas: Pepsi challenge faggot! My neckbeard get 1 mil twitt folwers b4 yurs! Winner take nachos!
@ChesterCheetah: I’m gonna lick the orange powder off of you.
@TacoBellDude: Are you gonna finish that Chalupa?
On the phone: Whaddya mean we can’t get Nickelback for this? I CAN’T THINK OF ANYTHING COOLER THAN NICKELBACK!!!
StarryRingo: Got jaundice and was bottom for marine…yup, yellow submarine! LOLZ!!1!!1
@DustinDIAMOND: You want bottom or power top tonight?
@KObeluzassrape: Hey Kobe, finished in yur sox! Consider athletes foot cured! :D
“Hell YEAH it was hard, getting those sports guys down to their skivs. I’m staring at A-Rod’s ass right now and I have to slump down in my goddamn CHAIR it’s so hard. Oh… you mean difficult… not so much that, no….”
@ChodinFD: I gots dick 4 proper steppin! See u at i-5 reststop Bring golf cleets ><
@MyChin: Where the fuck have you been, bro? Haven’t seen you since we did that Heavy D vid.
@TalentlessHack74: I’m still pissed about you stealing my screen name, bro.
@PhillipGarrido: w00t, we both <3 teh same kinda songs, lets jam some time, kk?
@JazzyScooters: Thank you for improving my quality of life.
@DJ_AM: What ever happen with that sleepover we were supposed to have, homie?
@RZombie: can i steal that joke from h2 for Rush Hour 4? (what’s teh difference between jelly and jam? u can’t jelly ur dick up a dead girl’s ass!)
@secretary: holy fuck, I have used the word “jam” so much I am starving…uh…get me a few of them KFC bowls and top them with JAM!
@TrannyManny: I want to watch you Jazzercise.
@LifeAlert: I’ve eaten too much, and I can’t get up.
Brett Ratner gets round trips for $400 or less at orbitz.
@Activision: Can you guys pay me in mayo?
@DirectorsChair: Sry!
@Assistant2Ratner: GAH, breathing is hard, go buy respirator from hospital. Bring more Bacon pizzas.
Brett Ratner be snackin’ and slackin’ y’all!