09.03.09 QUALITY, THY NAME IS FOX

Now that’s how you sposta’ make a movie with a black man playing a fat black woman! Fuck all dat Madea bullshit!

BANNER PIC

If Big Mamma was in WWII Germany she’d be killed for ordering 3 beers wrong. And…because she’s a “negro”.

SPOILER ALERT: Norman Bates’ mom died of starvation after Big Momma ate all her food.

They do say bad things come in threes.

Shiiiit, I’ve have all 8 movies of the BBW movie collection that is “Big Momma’s Mouth”.

Tyler Perry(After hearing the news): Oh…no…this…bitch…didn’t!

You’d figure Lawrence’s character would be the director of the FBI by now with how often he’s dressed up like a woman.

I will break each and every one of my toes with a hammer if there isn’t an ad for this movie that says “Three times a lady” at some point.

Martiiiiin! Martiiiiin! Martiiiiin!

He’s so desperate!

I’d honestly fuck a bowl of dead kittens if it would make this story untrue.

That’s really not fair, Mr. Big Time Ad Exec Hodey.

Is this one of the side effects of Chicken Madness?

For some reason when I see Martin dressed in this ridiculous outfit, I feel like I should be seeing Big Momma from the calves down angrily shuffling after a gray cat yelling “Thomas!”

Please, please, please, pleeeeaaasse let Michael Bay direct it.

Chod-what will going back to your whore ex accomplish?

Does it sadden anybody else the fucking Paul Giamatti was in the original…? Cuz it makes me throw up in my mouth a little bit.

In the M. Night Shamalacantspellhisname version, the plot twist is that it’s not Martin Lawrence at all…..it’s a fat woman.

It’s not so much that I’m racist, it’s more so that I don’t like to support films which encourage impossible hair tones on cultures.

I will break each and every one of my Donk’s toes with a hammer if there isn’t an ad for this movie that says “Three times a lady” at some point.

How many times can trained master criminals take for granted a fat diabetic black woman? This is like “Gimme a Break” the movie.

My favorite part about the first two movies is that I’ve never seen them.

All comedians have to go through some sort of rite of passage. For black comedians, it’s dressing like a fat woman; for white comedians, it’s a bar mitzvah. It’s just the way life works.

If Martin Lawrence really wanted to go incognito, he’d pose as some dude with a steady nine-to-five.

I guess Fox is making this because Norbit did so well.

@Chodin

Don’t you mean icognegro?

I’m just worried about all the opportunities that guys like Martin Lawrence, Eddie Murphy, and Tyler Perry are taking away from real fat black women. I mean, when was the last time anybody saw Oprah?

According to wikipedia, Martin is related to Joey Lawrence.

Whoa.

*tips cowboy hat to SmokeEm, lights bong and falls across coffee table*

This movie would be 5x better if it was called “Incognegro”. Thus improving it by 100%.

If this movie does well, look for Ted Danson to star as a fat white woman in blackface.
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I say we put Martin Lawrence, Eddie Murphy, and the Wayanseses in a car and drive them off a cliff to Alabama.

Wow, I shoe just go barefoot today will all this dick stepping I be doin’

Why? What happens in Alabama?

@Pauly

Its all good Pauly…you got a better chance to get nominated than me for the same joke anyway.

Ok, I got a joke…

Martin Lawrence, Eddie Murphy, and Tyler Perry walk into a bar and are immediately shown the door because it was a “Whites Only” establishment.

Richard Pryor is spinning in his grave, but he’s cool with that since it’s the fastest he’s moved since the mid-1980s.

Martin Lawrence, Eddie Murphy, and Tyler Perry walk into a bar and are immediately shown the door because it was a “Whites Only” establishment.

As they reach the door, they notice a waitress deliver an appletini with two straws to Tom Cruise and Wil Smith.

I once took a really pale chick to go see “Powder”…luckily for me, that same chick has since doubled her weight.

Awkward date with Kimberly “part 2″, here I cum.

Peet, I’d imagine Richard Pryor would be stopping, dropping, and rolling in his grave.

Okay, let me try my joke out…

Martin Lawrence, Eddie Murphy, and Tyler Perry walk behind bars.

Ok, how’s this for a joke…

Martin Lawrence, Eddie Murphy, and Tyler Perry are as dark as candy bars.

So…am I just a little too film-drunkded…or does Big Momma have six fingers in that poster? “OH F-CK” indeed…

I can’t believe Vince spent as much time on that photoshop as he did copying a finger. If it had been me, I would have put a stick there, or a chicken finger. Or, maybe I would have shopped it to look like he was holding a dick up to his mouth. I’m all class, baby.

The twist in this movie is that Martin Lawrence dresses up as a fat presidential candidate.

Big Obama’s House coming Fall 2012!