09.14.09 BELLA SWAN, ADRENALINE JUNKIE!
The newest trailer for Twilight Saga: New Moon premiered at the MTV Whatever it was this time awards last night, and it looks like they’re targeting the male demographic with this one. This latest trailer is more plot driven and less meaningful-glance driven, and it looks pretty ridiculous — in, dare I say it, a good way.
Edward sends Bella away so the vampire police don’t hurt her, driving her straight into the greasy ethnic arms of a chiseled werewolf. She also notices that the only time she sees Edward is during near-death experiences. SO, she becomes an ADRENALINE JUNKIE who takes to doing EXTREME MOTORCYCLE STUNTS, and CLIFF JUMPING. OOH WHAA-AA AA-AAH! Then she almost drowns, but is saved by… A GHOST LIFEGUARD!! *singing Baywatch theme* Soooome people stand, in the darkness/afraid to step intooooo the liiiight…. Cuz I’m always reeeady/I won’t let you out of myyy siiight… (eerie how well that applies here, isn’t it?*) But then Edward thinks Bella’s dead, so he runs off to pull some Romeo & Juliet sh’t. And then there’s, like, some chick with a scarf, and then THE WEREWOLVES COME! And Edward gets CHOKE SLAMMED!!! Oh man, this is gonna be the best movie since xXx: State of the Union!
*Seriously though, if you play the Twilight trailer above and the Baywatch intro below at the same time and watch the muted Twilight trailer while the Baywatch song plays, it totally syncs up like Wizard of Oz and Pink Floyd.
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2010/01/Runaways-slides-ratner-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2010/01/TWilightManga-real-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2010/01/Pattinson-Spider-Man-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2010/01/Superpoop-Twilight-Inglouri-150x150.jpg)
There are 30 comments about:
BELLA SWAN, ADRENALINE JUNKIE!
This latest trailer is more plot driven
There’s a plot? Seriously, everything I’ve read about seems to indicate otherwise.
Yea Jacktion, the plot is “it’s okay to slum with minorities as long as you get married and have sex with an emo Aryan poster child later.
I got duped into watching the first one as I didn’t want to offend a friend’s gf. After that experience I can comfortably say I am happy to offend anyone who likes this trash.
If the werewolves only come out on a full moon, that grass is gonna get pretty damn unruly the rest of the month.
Nobody wants to see Cullen getting chokeslammed more than He does, but that pic just looks like Ed’s frat brother helping him asphyxi-bate!
I’m sorry, but if a chick let’s a vampire break the heimen, she’s asking for it.
Fact: Vampires break the heimen and gain their red wings on the same occasion.
The best abs i’ve seen since 300.
OT: Stephanie’s middle name must be “Oscar”, cuz I wanna slide her the balogna.
K. I’m all out hymen jokes.
Fact: If a vampire breaks a girl’s hymen, he will suck that shit out of the sheets.
Fact.
I wish the wolves lived in the castle so I could call it Castle Wolfenstein.
Was the vampire with the big hair driving a fucking Volvo? Ooh, Donna D’Errico.
I wish the ladies i leave behind would become adrenaline junkies instead of cum dumpsters.
[Kicks over box fan, shits into same, points at spray pattern]
New moon!
More like Bi-curiouslight.
Techno music syncs up to the rythym of my wanking motion.
Being an adrenaline junkie, Bella was quick to accept the werewolf’s offer of a red rocket ride.
Crank without Dwight Yoakum’s hairline doesn’t do anything for me. Get a new hook.
So Bella has to get tubular to get Edward to come? I prefer blowjobs.
She’s still more of a badass than Nic Cage’s character in ‘Ghost Rider’ who abstained from alcohol because it gives him scary dreams.
I knew this shit was all Mountain Dew’s fault.
Good God, don’t sync up those two videos. Edward gets David Chokachi slammed.
Who do they think they’re fooling? This movie could be full of stunts and explosions, but it’s still a bucket of ~forbidden romance~ cliches and pussy vampires.
my high school girlfriend was an
adrenalinefucking other guys junkieThis whole thing doesn’t work because Werewolves are more tame than Injuns.
This site has ruined Baywatch for me because it always makes me think of Michael. “Baywatch explosion go boom! Bay like!”
Bella must be bummed that Edward is away. He could be off not fucking other girls!
I’m guessing that “to protect you from the vampire police” is code for “get away from me you clingy bitch”.
“And Edward gets CHOKE SLAMMED!!!”
And swallows afterwards….
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