Justin Timberlake’s new road-trip comedy, The Open Road, besides featuring The Dude mumbling barely intelligible lines like “Yer prettier’n a spotted heifer in a panda (?) patch,” also sports not one, but TWO of the cleverest taglines ever written.
“If life is a journey… these three have a long way to go.”
“Sometimes… the best part a trip… is losing your baggage.”
Your move, Sandra-Bullock-adopts-a-black-dude movie.
[via HollywoodElsewhere]
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Sometimes, your son . . . is actually your daughter.
I prefer the tagline from one of Jeff Bridges’s's’s previous movies:
Sometimes . . . the only way to uncover the truth . . . is to bury it alive.
Sometimes, the bad breath you smell… (record scratch) is yours.
Or MB’s new flick, THE FRUIT VENDOR:
When Life hands you lemons… blow that shit to pieces.
The road changed them, and they changed the road… when they missed the coin bucket at the Jersey Turnpike toll booth.
They left as boys… they returned men, hung up like dogs in the street.
They went to find America… they found themselves out of money giving truckers head for gas money.
Sometimes… the best part of a trip… is coming down and realizing those pink and purple squirrels with laser eyes weren’t real after all.
They set out to find a Neverending Story rape van… trishalinedm told them to “GTFO yourself defremating pethatic loosers on the internet all days sitting around!”
Fuck Al, that part suuuuucks!
In order to have a successful road trip, you need Bridges to get over Timber Lake.
if life is a journey…this movie isn’t on my road map
Not if they spent 5 hours attacking you, Crappy.
Dude! Where’s my roadhead?
Bring it on down to SkipThisVille!
The journey of a thousand miles… starts with you asking if anybody needs to take a piss.
Sometimes….the best part of a trip……is having Ryan Gosling fill up your gas tank.
Dude, Where’s My Ability to Give a Shit?!?
Brotherhood of the Travelling Assless Chaps.
Sometimes….one can build an entire career off of a funny SNL skit.
More like FAGLINE, amiright?
*air guitar*
This summer… Madea is back, riding the Hershey Highway.
Life is a hershey highway, I’m gonna ride it all night long.
Sometimes to find out where you are… you need to get lost. No, really, scram fuckstick. You’re pissing me off and I’m getting my pepper spray.
sorry bout the dick step.
Justin wants to make a stop in Tijuana and buy some stuff so he can bring MexiBack.
I will not watch this vehicle.
/high-fives trishalinedm in corner, smokes meth/
The timing between Bridges and Timberlake is off. They just aren’t N’Sync.
I’m shocked* this trailer didn’t use Tom Cochrane’s Life Is A Highway.
* :(
The road to hell… is paved with unbaptised babies.
The shortest distance between two points… is through Justin Timberlake’s colon.
I sure hope Justin knows better than to play the fuckin’ Eagles, man.
Do they jump their car into the Grand Canyon at the end? If not, fuck this movie.
this summer…the movie event…you have all been waiting for…(superfluous statement that is not even remotely true). *picks booger*
When JT finds out his reps passed on Krater at Warner Bros., he’s going to have a heart attack. This look so cheeeeeeez.
Awesome looking movie. I had always wondered what Elizabethtown would have looked like if someone took a shit on the script and then threw darts at a wall full of names to cast it.