OY. A G.I. JOE SEQUEL.
08.11.09Yeah, so there’s going to be a G.I. Joe sequel. And that’s apparently such a minor and unsurprising news item that the LA Times all but breezed through it in a longer article about box office grosses:
[G.I. Joe's box office was] certainly good enough for Paramount to claim victory, however, and start thinking about the future. The studio’s vice chairman, Rob Moore, confirmed that a sequel will soon go into development. The film’s lead actors are contractually obligated to return for another film, though director Stephen Sommers is not.
Well I hope Stephen Sommers doesn’t ask for too much money, and can find time in his schedule between The Mummy 6 or The League of Extraordinary Werewolves or whatever. Otherwise, I don’t know what could happen to this franchise. But as long as Channing Tatums is there to mumble and stare vacant eyed while Marlon Wayans slips on banana peels I’m sure everything will be fine.


G.I. SO?
G.I. 2oe or G.I.I. Joe?
If the last movie was “The Rise of Cobra”, will this one be, “The Spitting Serpentor”?
If the redhead (Scarlett? is that right?) would step forward a bit it could be G.I. Toe.
*empties bedpan, grabs new whittlin’ log*
Hollywood execs-Want The Mighty Feklahr’s $8? Make a GI Joe movie with a bunch of white guys killing sandy camel fuckers in the Middle East, then have Snake-Eyes single-handedly infiltrate Usama Bin Laden’s hideout, kill everyone there, and mercilessly decapitate him.
It’s fucking easy. LET’S ROLL!
GI 2ract: This movie is the shit!
I hope they get Ratner to direct so it can be about a mysterious woman and her unit.
Fek, that comment is racially insensitive . . .
to camels.
That title has more awkward periods than a summer pony camp.
Well, that was short lived :/
If only….
Kid 1: Hey, let’s go watch G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra!
Kid 2: I don’t know, that sounds like a bad idea.
Kid 1: Come on, it’ll be fun.
Kid 2: OK, I guess….
Roadblock: Wait kids, don’t you go to that show!
Kid 1 and 2: ROADBLOCK!?!?
Roadblock: That movie is a piece of trash, you don’t want to waste your cash.
Kid 1: Wait, why are you rhyming? Isn’t that Jazz from Transformers who does that?
Roadblock: My bad kid, the guy writing this is still groggy. The point is that movie sucks and watching it will cause them to make more.
Kid 2: Well now we know.
Roadblock: And knowing is half the battle.
GI NO MO!!
I want to send Sommers, Di Bonaventura, Wigger Tots, and Marlon Wayans to G.I. Gitmo
new up, hobbitses, follow me!
gee, i won’t go
maybe they’ll correct their mistakes in the sequel…
1. All Cobra gun fire should sound like the cartoon, period.
2. Have an good script with understandable character development.
3. Cast actors who are believable…
Duke – Mark Wahlberg (Tatum = Zoolander)
Rip Cord – Jamie Foxx (Wayons = crummy!)
General Hawk – Gerard Butler, Daniel Craig or Kyle Chandler (Quaid = not a bad ass.)
Cobra Commander – Willem Dafoe
Alpine – Scott Caan
Bazooka – Kevin Dillon
Flint – John Cena
Ship Wreck – Josh Holloway