(in space, no one can hear your lisp)

I hope everyone refilled their inhalers this weekend, because I’ve got Battlestar Galactica movie news to PWN your recessive genes with. Universal Pictures has announced that Bryan Singer is attached to direct the big screen version of the cult-hit series. Hang onto your imitation vaginas though, the studio claims that this will not be the SyFy channel (then Sci-Fi) fisting fest that you’re used to:

…Singer will clearly put his own creative stamp on the project, as the studio indicates that the film will be “a complete reimagination.” [Variety]

This reminds me of the time I had sex with this girl from community college. When we awoke in the morning, I asked her how she liked her eggs, to which she replied “over easy”. I immediately jumped out of the bunk bed and told her, “Well sorry, but you’re getting them fertilized. Consider it a complete reimagination of how you previously thought you liked your eggs”.

Though yet to be officially confirmed, Battlestar’s Wikipedia page reports that Singer’s version will be based on the original series which aired from 1978-1979 on the ABC network. Personally, I’ve never really given a rat’s ass about either version of the program, but I’ve heard from many reliable sources (i.e. people that I don’t want to kill) that Battlestar Galactica is a top-notch program. I suppose the best we can hope for at this point, is that Singer doesn’t try too hard to Star Trek this thing and at least remembers to cast Sinbad as the lead.

*crosses fingers and queefs*

-Chodin