I hope this isn’t too inside baseball for anyone, but I thought it was funny so there you go. Back in February I posted the above picture along with a story about a guy who’d turned his van into a shrine to The Neverending Story. I made a few jokes about rape and child molestation, because hey, it’s a van. And here at FilmDrunk, we like easy jokes as much as we like easy women. Fast forward to last week, when the van owner’s wife, who was apparently born with a rare disease that left her unable to detect sarcasm, found her way into the comments section. What follows is some of the finest unintentional comedy that I’ve ever witnessed. First comment:
trishalinedm says: Listen you douchbags this is my husbands custom truck that he has had since 79 and is a piece of art. Something that us vanners take pride in something that we work hard for. You guys are just jealous because you couldn’t possibly own anything of value and have to sit on your asses all day because you have no life and rag on anything that you can just to get your kicks and in the mean time you have no idea who this person is you are trashing!! You are trashing his reputation!! Do you know that is a crime to give out false information about people unless you have information to back up your comments that you are sending out to millions of people?? Its called defremation of charachter!! I’d watch your tongues if I were you? How would you feel if you were called a child molestor?? Unless you know the person you are talking about you shouldn’t talk about anyone!! You want to rag on me too? I have a custom truck with a mural of the wizard of oz on it!! These are award winning trucks and we are just 2 out of hundreds of other custom vans out there. And we are very much regular people with ordinary lives!! So you should not speak of what you do not know of!! So get a life douchbags!!!
Ah yes, the old “You’re just jealous because I have a custom truck with The Wizard of Oz on it” argument. Who hasn’t employed that one from time to time? Naturally, the FilmDrunkards responded in kind…
ciara719 says: Quit defreming my caricature.
Jacktion! says: “Listen you douchbags this is my husbands custom truck that he has had since 79 and is a piece of art.”
Yes, all great artists use vans as their medium. That’s why they called him Van Gogh. [Editor's Note: Brilliant.]
Thankfully, trishalinedm came back.
trishalinedm says: Excuse me for my sentence fragments and my punctuation errors, as I was trying to swiftly comment on some Jackass comments left by IMMATURE Children who sit and play all day on the computer!! And CLEARLY do NOT have a life!! In fact I am pretty impressed that you could actually pick out sentence fragments or Spelling errors!! And to set the record straight I DO NOT own a civic with a giant spoiler!!! Nor am I a CHILD, I am a 30 year old woman who happens to be very opinionated towards jackass’s like yourself!! And as for your ninja sword signed by Randy Jackson, whoo hoo good for you, what do you do dress like a ninja and play with your sword and dream of something that you will NEVER BE?? BIG DEAL!! What good is it if you keep it in a box on a shelf if you don’t get out and use it? At least we are out showcasing our dreams and some of our favorite things, sharing them with all!! So all of you can Kiss my ASS and you can GTFO!!!
And once again, Jacktion! sees a hanging curve and hits it out of the park.
Jacktion! says: Wait a second, you’re 30? So you were born in the same year that your husband bought that van? Is that why you love that van so much? Because of all the “free candy” you got in it growing up?
trishalinedm says: I think all of you are really too immauture for your ages!! And really you obviously have TOO much time on your hands! And no I did not research my husbands van, looking for comments like this, a fellow vanner told us about your dumbass waste of time website and therefore I decided to make my own remarks!! And as for my screenname, don’t even start with me on that, JACKASS’S! It just goes to show that you are all classified in that low life category,in life!! So sad and pathetic!!
Burnsy says: Trish, I’m 30 also. Would you and your fat husband like to double date?
Burnsy says: Trish, when your husband dies from diabetes in the next 10 years, will you be depressed when you realize that all he left you was his worthless vans?
trishalinedm says: Ummm this just proves my point!! You have no clue who we are, and what type of people we are. If you did you would realize that my hubby is going no where for a loongg time. And will probable out live you all because you that call others fat are really hiding behind themselves for what they are, truley ugly people!! My husband is a very healthy happy person who cares for others and someone who takes care of family and is truley a loving man!! Who’s going to take care of you when you are all alone with your pathetic life?? You and you pathetic computer filled with meaningless comments? Obviously you were never loved as a child and is expressing your misery out on others cause your life sucks! And can’t stand to see happy people, be HAPPY! And johnathin brandis is dead because something did not make him happy! What a horrible thing to say to someone, again pathetic! And lack of maturity!! I really pity the people in your lives!
Donkey Hodey says: It’s amazing that I seem to know so little about you, but you claim to know so much about me. Besides, my computer isn’t filled with meaningless comments, it’s mostly filled with deviant fetish porn. The meaningless comments make up less than 5% of my disk space.
Fart Party says: What would a man have to pay to have sex with that van?
trishalinedm says: Ahhh Again all to be proven now that you are REALLY the ones that our children should be afraid of!! The true MOLESTERS are all you Perverted PIGS!!! I Pity all of you!!
Jacktion! says: Trish, I’ll make a deal with you. You continue to sit in that trailer and eat twinkies, and I’ll continue to make fun of you.
trishalinedm says: LOL!!! Make Fun all you want!! You aren’t hurting me any, you are only projecting how pathetic your life is and how you WISH you had my life!!! You can only dream to have what I have!! Instead you gaze in the computer all day and dream, and thats all you will ever do, is dream!! I have all that you will ever want, and that eats at you everyday!! And it bothers me none!! ;-)
Fek’lhr says: Trisha! Good news! The guy with the Mork and Mindy van is getting a new tape deck and said you can have his old one! QAPLAH!
trishalinedm says: Lol again pathetic! And this is why this will be my last post as I am done playing into your childish games!! I’ve said my piece!
Stone Soup says: Please hang around, Trish – I was going to share photos of my van. It’s painted with scenes from Silence of the Lambs. Well, maybe not painted, but there is a fat girl pinned behind a couch in the back.
Anyway, I don’t have much to add, I just wanted to share this with everyone given how much joy it gave me. Jacktion! is really at his best when he’s picking on the less intelligent.
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/257/thumb)
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![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2011/05/Larry-Jamisons-Van-Karate-150x150.jpg)
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This isn’t too Inside Baseball in my opinion. If Trisha were black however it might be too NBA Inside Stuff.
I *sniff* love you guys.
Jack! You Late!
My favorite part is when she states “my hubby is going no where for a loongg time.”
Truer words have never been spoken.
Snuff love is what trish’s hubby is into.
How pathetic my life is? How Pathetic MY life is? Oh, she wasn’t talking to me. Score.
Should not always judge things by outward appearance. But, book cover with children’s story on outside often belies children’s story on inside too.
I liked when Donk asked if she had a movie quality Chewbacca replica mask.
I do want one of those.
You’re really gunning for that blow job, arentcha?
Thanks for including the Mork and Mindy post. He was particularly proud of Himself for that one.
*books flight with Stoney, slaps on “DNA” nametag*
*Slow clap*
Well… she did say she has ALL that I ever want.
*joins slow clap, woots*
People like this give me a reason to still watch COPS.
I can’t wait for Trish to find this post. It should be sometime in February.
That van is probably the only vehicle on the road that Trish can fit in.
Well hallelujah, I picked a good day to rejoin my Drunkard brethren. Congrats guys, that’s some funny shit.
Also a word of congratualtions to Martini who is obviously posting this just so he can generate web traffic from the massive painted van sub-culture. I’ll bet he gets 3 or 4 extra hits today.
What the fuck? I get swamped at work because of this Goddamn Cash for Clunkers thing and take a vacation and this happens? Shit. I’m always late for the gang bang.
“At least we are out showcasing our dreams and some of our favorite things, sharing them with all!!”
How come whenever I do that they call it Indecent Exposure?
Rape: Now in Happy flavor
I’d kind of like to see his Curious George takes a Winnie the Pooh full back tattoo, do you have that?.
Get LaMont to do some of the work, J.
Something tells me that Trish’s hubby also has a life sized replica of the glaive from Krull.
I want a van with a Bloodsport mural on it so I can call it “Jean Claude Van DAMN!”.
Stoney, never leave again. :D
So awesome. I love you guys.
You’d think Stockholm Syndrome would wear off with the roofies. Go figure.
@Pauly
I want a American Ninja mural so I can call it “Lee Van Cleef”
Wait wait wait wait wait. Deviant fetish porn makes me a molester and a pervert?
I am joining this club. My plan is to have ‘Brown Eyed Girl’ continuously playing through a loudspeaker until someone gets the joke.
Trish should know that to be a victim of “defremation of charachter” you have to be a fremous charachter first.
I heard the artist who painted the mural was Adolph VAN Munzel!
what you fags dont read art history books?
Trish gets great Wi-Fi for living in a van…DOWN BY THE RIVER!
Hey, the Wizard of Oz opened 70 years ago today! I better trailer trish is out drivin’ her truck, celebratin’! Yee Haw!
I want a van with a mural of a bunch of dead pendejos and naked putas called “Vanny Trejo”.
I am buying an ’82 Ford Econoline, reshaping the outside into a large metal sphere, and installing a giant rubber band on rollers inside. I’ll drive it around the country making people’s hair stand on end.
Eib-you made Him ROFLKOTAL with “Trailer Trish”!
I can’t wait to get a van and put some kick ass Surf Ninjas murals on it.
If the High School Musical mural’ed ice cream truck is a rockin’, don’t come a knockin’.
I wouldn’t call it defremation of charachter as much as I’d call vehicular vanslaughter.
I hope that van has a raised ceiling so Trish has ample space to hang herself.
Live by the van, die by the van.
In a way, she’s right. I do wish I had her life. Then I’d have justification for cutting myself on a regular basis.
Trish deserves a Vanguard award.
meaningless comments??? MEANINGLESS COMMENTS???
excuse me but there is a prize once a week, and if there isn’t a prize than Vince gives a complimentary FilmDrunk Value Meal… a reach around, a blumpkin, and a morning snuggle with baby goose
I want a Milk themed ride. I’ll call it my Gus Van Sant.
(also, I can use the missing children’s motif, which I love)
“And as for your ninja sword signed by Randy Jackson…” may be the best quote ever. I’m serious, say it out loud. That shit belongs in a Bartlet’s.
She’s a dungeon master, isn’t she ?
Defremation of Spell Check should be a’gin the law
Ahhhhhh Run from this
[blogs.truckinweb.com]
Do you think that these vans all gather up and have meetings and stuff? What would happen if someone went to one of them and just started picking off vans? Would it be considered a VANDEMIC?
Shut up.
If you knew what my IQ is, you’d know that I’m at my best when I’m making fun of everyone.
I think Jacktion is brilliant, and his IQ must be super high, maybe even genius.
(Jack, I expect that payment quickly!)
Van damn!
(and by payment I mean anal)
I’m gonna call Trish “Sammy Whorgar” with all this van hail’n she’s doing.
“Trishalinedum” is a drug that was banned by the FDA after it was learned that Jersey hillbillies were smoking it and doing goofy shit like this.
I thought this piece of white trash heaven could hardly be improved upon, but then I saw the wood paneling on the inside.
I missed you, Duke.
In a gay wrestling way.
[neverendingstoryvan.homestead.com]
The owner’s name is Rooster… of course it is.
His first van was Stairway to Heaven. Also, she foolishly used her email address as her handle here, so she must be super special.
The only handle she has are her love handles!
See cause she’s a fat bitch.
For those of us who are new to the party, Trish is the name of the talking horse that sleeps in the van’s trailer, right? Just want to be clear.
I’m bet there’s at least 2 HoverRounds, a Deep Fryer and a commemorative plate display in the back of that van… assuming the van is not used for kiddie diddling.
I’m surprised she got a wifi signal from her VAN down by the RIVER.
Aaaaaaaaand I’m an embarrassment for not seeing someone had posted that first. At least I’m leading the auction on her Howard the Duck short bus on ebay.
If I saw that van parked on the street, I would undress myself, grab the KY, and just stumble into inevitability.
Is there a waterbed in that van? i haven’t kept up with this and now i’m curious.
If only SeaLab had taken place in a van, rather than a submarine, maybe we wouldn’t have been denied a sequel to Sidekicks.
*wipes a tear away*
I love you guys so much.
This post inspired me to look up some Neverending Story quotes and I found this little piece of gold.
Bastian’s Father: I got a call from your math teacher, yesterday. She says that you were drawing horses in your math book.
Bastian: Unicorns. They were unicorns.
Bastian’s Father: What?
Bastian: Nothing.
Okay guys, I know making fun of her was fun (hence the title), but could we try to refrain from cyber stalking, please and thank you? I have a lot on my conscience as it is.
haha oops. Sorry! I blame the other guy.
Sorry. I guess I’ll leave the googling to your own discretion.
No worries, I appreciate the enthusiasm. I just don’t want to get sued.
Yea, she knows about deforestation of caricature so you can never be too careful haha.
I read this shit all the time, but I had to register after reading this entry. This is some of the funniest stuff I’ve ever read. I hope this woman never stops. She’s so retarded she can bankrupt a casino.
could we try to refrain from cyber stalking, please and thank you? I have a lot on my conscience as it is.
The Mighty Feklahr presumes beaming down into the bushes outside her bedroom window is still cool, right? RIGHT??? DOR SHO GHA!
Besides, what have you got to worry about, DNA? The Mighty One has never made good on any of His threats against YOU!
*mouths the words, “YOU CAN RUN, BUT YOU CAN’T HIDE.”*
johnathin brandis would be an excellent nickname if he had died of anorexia.
“Ahhh Again all to be proven now that you are REALLY the ones that our children should be afraid of!! The true MOLESTERS are all you Perverted PIGS!!! I Pity all of you!!”
YOUR children shouldn’t be afraid. Our neighbors’ children are the ones who should be afraid.
I don’t normally do message boards, but after reading all of the great and hilarious responses to the Neverending Story Van, I had to join up. I love this site and all you fellow users are fuckin awesome.
hu hu hu huubiiiiitch pleeze
you gu gu guys ,, muh muh muh maake me happay
Hey, little girl, want pet my luck dragon?
Neverending Story Van: Now with 100% more Childlike Empress!
I like you too, ED-209, even if you’re no better at traversing stairs than Stephen Hawking.
SHUT UP trishalinedm you dummy!!
Man I always show up at this kind of stuff way too late.
So smartass. You say you made a few jokes about rape and molestation. What world do you come from where that is funny. Do you have a sister, wife,kids. Would it be funny if it happened to them Dont think so, so first, its not a joke. 2nd assuming my van is that type of van and that I am is outrageously sick in your mind. We customize our vans and use themes that we like. Theres a Star Wars van, A Pirates of the Carribean van, a Scooby Doo Van, etc. So WTF, we’re all molestors? That mural cost $10,000 and this is my hobby. I built it and had it painted, and has won more show trophys than I care to count.Its not a molestor van. Would it be that obvious. I’m the secreatary of The New England Van Council, and we promote vannin. So to attack 1 your attacking us all. This site was found by a friend searching for vans. Hello it popped up. So anyway, enough with you guy who have nothing better to do than to bash people, posting that I’m a molestor and rapist and youd eat your hat if I wasn’t, get ready to eat it, cause I’m looking into a defermation of character suit. This is our life. If you like the van or not, you have no right to attack my reputation and all of you joking about rape and molestors. My opinion, they all should be shot by the families of the victims. What if my van was seen by one of these victims and they read your opinion about it. My life and van could be in jepordy. Those 2 subjects are no joking matter.
Owner of the van
Good to see that the hubby is getting in on the action.
I’m pretty sure a guy named “Rooster” has never won a lawsuit in U.S. legal history.
So to attack 1 your attacking us all.
Man, I just got an awesome mental picture of being chased down back country roads by the A-Team van, the Oscar Mayer Weinermobile, an El Camino with a valkyrie riding a pegasus painted on the hood, and of course the Neverending Story van.
I’m the secreatary of The New England Van Council, and we promote vannin snarf snarf
is that a serious statment?? hahahaha what a nerd fo realz
Rooster, and you and Trish… how can I put this… special?
Because if you are, we’ll lay off. Making fun of retards is no fun, but making fun of idiots is a blast!
Theres a Star Wars van, A Pirates of the Carribean van, a Scooby Doo Van, etc.
You’re not helping to dissuade people that these things aren’t designed to catch the eye of neighborhood children, you know…
What if my van was seen by one of these victims and they read your opinion about it.
Somebody needs to call Dan Rosen’s sister ASAP.
Rooster, nobody thinks you’re an actual child molester. That van would be way to easy for a victim to describe.
In order for it to work, you’d also have to be a murderer.
Story, when you stick your dick in the exhaust pipe every night, do you visualize trisha or the giant flying dog?
I just found out about this, and hate that I missed it. I would like to add, however, that I am offering upwards of ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS for the van and the randy jackson signed ninja sword. let’s do this.
“This is our life. If you like the van or not, you have no right to attack my reputation and all of you joking about rape and molestors.”
We wouldn’t joke about rape. Rape is NEVER funny.
. . .
Unless you’re raping a clown.
I have a hypothetical question: Is it tough to get blood out of wood paneling?
“I have a hypothetical question: Is it tough to get blood out of wood paneling?”
Only if it’s the blood of young girls/boys. So in this case, yes, very hard to get out.
Here’s the iron clad child molester/rapist test. It’s one question.
If you found yourself laying on top of a kid, would you get off?
look i like vans as much as the next guy, but sometimes you just have to pull out right?
alright i confess, i don’t really know what a van is. is it when you toboggan someone while making them eat a lollipop and wearing a beanie?
oh and van guy… chill out man… nobody reads this site… plus i don’t think you want to sue FilmDrunk… all you will win is half a roll of toilet paper and whatever Vince has for lunch that day
and if that sandwich has fluffernutter, you can be damn sure your lawyer is taking that for his fee
We’re vannin’:
I wanna van it wid you.
We’re vannin’, vannin’,
And I hope you like vannin’, too.
Looks like I picked the wrong day to paint the van.
Jee-zus
Holy shit, this van even has an 8 track! Not only does Rooster get to live in The Never Ending Story Van, but he can also rock the fuck out to Jethro Tull while doing so.
I’m looking into a defermation of character suit
Defermation looks good in pin stripes.
get ready to eat it, cause I’m looking into a defermation of character suit
Don’t forget to check the pockets.
Honestly, this site has brought so much joy to me morning this. I lament that I did not read it for the original post. I think we should all contribute our comment we WOULD have posted if we had the chance again. Here is mine:
“I have to agree with you Trish. Every time I watch Extreme Makeover Home Edition, I cry when they customize the kids rooms. I am so happy that Pimp my Ride was able to capture the rapists mind so well in a 1979 van. His attempt to rape ratio will go through the roof now!”
Why would the good people at the New England Van Council elect a rapist as their secretary?
Trish, why won’t you become my friend on Facebook?
I sat at work, trying to create my own commentary on the world of entertainment, and then I read this and laugh so hard that I tear up. Seriously, sometimes I love this world.
Dude, fuck you. That’s one bad ass van. More bad ass than your stupid comments that lack a point. It’s been three years now. Hopefully you’ve grown up a little and can appreciate differences in other people and fantastic artwork when you see it. You’re a prime example of the scum of this world. Argue about something that actually is going to apply to your life in the near future, because the reason why kids like YOU are working at Wendy’s making MY jr. bacon cheeseburgers is because all you ignorant fucks do is go online and talk shit on people they know nothing about. Just remember the more enemies you make, the more prone you are to getting fucked with, moron. On the internet or not. COMMON SENSE, fag.
While all this controversy is making me want a van to airbrush, a) every hobbyist in the world should get used to the idea of being made fun of and b) welcome to the Internet, now please leave so we can get back to chuckling.