08.17.09 NEVER GO FULL VAMPIRE
Bloody-disgusting reports:
Universal Pictures is looking to restart Anne Rice’s The Vampire Chronicles, which tells the tale of the vampire Lestat Du [sic] Lioncort (through his narration), a nobleman-turned-vampire in the late 18th century. [...]
We have confirmed this afternoon that ROBERT DOWNEY JR. is in close talks to play the vampire Lestat in Universal Pictures’ The Vampire Chronicles, a newly rebooted franchise based on Anne Rice’s popular novels.
No way. Robert Downey, Jr. as a dandy French vampire? I can just imagine the meeting at Universal:
“Vampires are so hot right now.”
“We haven’t turned every Anne Rice napkin-scribble into a movie yet have we?”
“If we call it a reboot we can use any book we want.”
“Great! Now who can play a femmy, blond, 18th century French nobleman and also deliver this pretentious emo dialogue without a hint of sarcasm or exasperation?”
“I’ve got it! Robert. Downey. Junior.”
“Magnificent. Make it happen. Now let’s bring the meeting to a close, shall we? Ramone! Bring in the biscuit.”
~ robopanda
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/11/molester-wolf-crop-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/11/ben_stiller_robert_downey_j-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/10/sherlockholmesposter-150x150.jpg)
There are 19 comments about:
NEVER GO FULL VAMPIRE
Cut them some slacula.
I wonder if they’ll make him wear those creepy White Chick contacts they made him wear in Tropic Thunder?
BTW, I love whoever made that Blacula poster.
So taking bets on who will play Louie? Dare we dream SnaggleTooth will reprise her role of Claudia?
First blackface, now whiteface? He’s running out of options, unless he signs on to the Smurfs movie.
Blackula sports a gold fang.
BTW, I love whoever made that Blacula poster.
Sure you love me, but when’s the last time you bought me something pretty?
Universal Sucks
Thalmus is a ridiculous name. What if he’s hyper? Hyper Thalmus? Just silly.
Robo, I brought you this . . .
* points @ Stoney’s crotch
Here’s a shiny Edward Cullen panties set Robo. Have fun sniffing the angsty goodness.
I’m wearing that as a hat right now!
Oh, yeah, and Jessica’s gift was pretty cool, too.
all this talk about sucking might bring rooster back
I hope Sasper the Gay Ghost has a cameo.
Chelle0, if he does he should wear it with a frilly thong and stockings.
What?
What were you talking about?
Oh, nevermind.
Gordon Pinsent was in… Blacula ? Mind. Blown.
I want to see RDJ’s character from Tropic Thunder vs the Twilight fairies.
Young Blackula blings in the sun.
I love blaxploitation horror. G-Mummy, The Wolfmayne, Gangstastein, and the Invisible Mu-Fucka are all classics that need to be made.
just you DARE giving the raunchiest vampires in literature history a “twilight-true-love-waits”-makeover…
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