After the success of The Wrestler, it’s been easier for Darren Aronofsky to get Black Swan greenlit. Carson Reeves read the script and posted a review:
Can I just tell you why none of my review matters? Can I just tell you why my review is absolutely pointless?
Because in this movie, Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis have sex.
Yeah. You read that right. And not just nice sweet innocent sex either. We’re talking ecstasy-induced hungry aggressive angry sex. [...]
I read the rest of the review (major spoiler in the last one third) , and he’s right. None of the rest of that review matters, because the whole time I’m reading I’m thinking, “Yeah, but what about the drugged-up angry ballerina lesbian sex? You can’t just talk about Swan Lake now, monkeyfighter. The world must know.”
~ robopanda
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If you need me, I’ll be in the bathroom for a few minutes.
If you need me, I’ll be in Jack’s bathroom for a few minutes.
I’ll probably only watch a few minutes of this movie, but I’ll watch those few minutes hundreds of times.
But where does he go from dual mule ? I guess I’ll have to buy a ticket.
Finally, a description of a trailer worth reading.
Violence beget violence. This is no different with sex. Only thing that change is how beating is inflicted.
I just had a pantsplosion.
I was jerking off to Natalie Portman, but it turns out it was Keira Knightly.
My dick was so surprised, it did a spit take.
If Natalie Portman shaves her head for this one it will only be 95% as arousing compared to her doing the whiteface Padme from Star Wars I.
Here good joke:
What you call it when pedophile lesbian go at it with young girl?
Safety scissoring. Ha!
Honestly though, I don’t know how this guy got access to my dreams, but I really don’t appreciate the invasion of privacy.
Let’s see, this post has been up for about 30 minutes, so I’m supposed to call the doctor in another 3 and a half hours, right?
Seriously, there’s so much blood running through my dick right now that my legs are numb.
[www.ncm.com]
One last plug for…HOLY CRAP BOOOIIIIIING!!!!
Throw in Olivia Munn, and it’s going to burst.
Throw in Clive Owen, and this is going to durst.
Yea Jacktion, I shattered my glass desk when I read the title and saw the two pictures.
It looked like the scene from Dr. Seuss’ The Grinch Who Stole Christmas when his heart grows.
“Because in this movie, Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis have sex.”
This movie is adapted from my wet dreams anthology.
It looked like the scene from Dr. Seuss’ The Grinch Who Stole Christmas when his heart grows.
Not mine. The Grinch’s heart started out small.
I’m predicting that when Black Swan hits theaters there will be more guys jacking it in the places than the porn theater scene from Cecil B. Demented.
Good tdhing this news didn’t come out tomorrow. If I read this whilst I was alone in the office you bet your ass I’d have my dick out right now.
The only way to illustrate my first reaction to the Natalie/Mila sex announcement is to watch the Jizz My Pants video
Well all the girls that refuse to have sex with me also tell me that size doesn’t matter.
I bet that all the girls who refuse to have sex with you aren’t as hot as the girls who refuse to have sex with me.
Pffft, I’ve already seen this like a million times…
(*continues slamming Amidala and Meg Griffin toys together*)
Oh yeah … so hot …
Spaz, depending on when you got that Meg Griffin doll, you might have a Natalie Portman/ Lacey Chabert scene going on there.
Ballerinas huh? Make ‘em air hostesses and we’ve got a deal*
*an erection
/probably whilst balancing on a Swiss ball with the soundtrack to The Shining playing in the background.
Well Jack, if you think you can top that court order that Megan Fox has against me, by all means, be my guest.
Thanks for reminding me, Jacktion!
(*pulls out Season One Meg doll from under bed, adopts squeaky Lacey Chabert voice…*)
“Hey there, girls, wanna help me make a fish sandwich?”
*bump bump bump bump*
I’ve been shot down by Marisa Miller, the hot chick from The Big Bang Theory, AND the Snorg Tees girl.
Well I’ve rubbed it out to all three of them.
Wait… what kind of contest was this again?
All of this masturbatory fantasizing, you guys are indeed weretards if you think they’ll even show any nudity. You watch, this will be some tasteful arthouse bullshit, nary a nipple to be seen, let alone gash.
Now I have more masturbatory aids than I can handle!!!
No, wait…
I just have regular AIDS.
:(
I never thought I’d see the day these two sexy ladies got it on, awesome! *He said while actually picturing Meg Griffin and Natalie Portman from The Professional*
Hairy says that like it’ll prevent anyone from getting a stiffy in the middle of the theater.
That’s one way to forget Sarah Marshall.
I just hope Natalie Portman isn’t covered in bruises.
Sweet and innocent sex isn’t sweet or innocent enough for Ryan Gosling.
V is for Vaginas. Sweet.
Goodness, does anyone know of a low price treatment for friction burns?
This really doesn’t get me that hot. Mila is pretty hot, but Natalie is just average to me. I wouldn’t kick her out of bed of course….
Sex, sex, sex. That’s all you people think and talk about. I for one am glad I don’t have a wife or a girl friend right now. I’m way too fuck to drunk anyway.
Dr. Thunder: was that a Puscifer reference??
Don’t be such a Tool, Chino.
oooh, we make A Perfect Circle, spaz.
Careful there … I May nard!
(making sense is overrated)
I’m Keen (an)
(*sniffs hand*)
Hmmmm …. anyone wanna play Stinkfist?
Hmm…Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman having lesbian sex. Is it Kosher for a Jew to eat another Jew?