08.28.09 GEORGE CLOONEY STARES AT KIM KARDASHIAN
This is the first trailer for Men Who Stare at Goats, starring George Clooney, Ewan McGregor, Jeff Bridges (in full-on The Dude mode), and Hollywood’s hottest bachelor Kevin Spacey. It looks like it could either be funny or way too cute for its own good, like my tiny, tiny penis.
Reporter Bob Wilton (Ewan McGregor) is in search of his next big story when he encounters Lyn Cassady (George Clooney), a shadowy figure who claims to be part of an experimental U.S. military unit. According to Cassady, the New Earth Army is changing the way wars are fought. A legion of “Warrior Monks” with unparalleled psychic powers can read the enemy’s thoughts, pass through solid walls, and even kill a goat simply by staring at it. Now, the program’s founder, Bill Django (Jeff Bridges), has gone missing and Cassady’s mission is to find him. The Men Who Stare at Goats was inspired by Jon Ronson’s non-fiction bestseller of the same name, an eye-opening and often hilarious exploration of the government’s attempts to harness paranormal abilities to combat its enemies. [Apple]
I’m on the fence. The cast are all the kind of lovable schlubs you might entrust to raise your abandoned baby while you tried to juggle your career as a prominent litigator (can you imagine the hijinks? Someone should write a movie about that!), but handsome charming middle-aged father figures aside, I counted four jokes in the trailer that involved someone getting hit in the face, which is never a good sign. But on the plus side… Boston. Man, if I had a nickle for every time I got date raped to that song.
[Better quality video over at Apple]
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There are 26 comments about:
GEORGE CLOONEY STARES AT KIM KARDASHIAN
Does Clooney use his psychic powers to construct a mechanized, motorized, oscillating dildo chair?
If not GTFO.
“I went looking for a story, and my friend Lyn brought me an adventure.”
Kevin tried to bring Ewan the adventure, but then the roofies wore off.
The Mighty Feklahr asserts that Kevin Spacey must be the movie’s villain, Radioactive Man’s arch-nemesis, The Scout Leader!
Clooney blah blah blah… I quit my job yesterday.
Stoney-Rly? Are you out for revenge on your ex-wife, too?
I exact my revenge on the ex by villifying her here.
But yes, I seriously quit (gave notice) yesterday.
In my neck of the woods, men who stare at goats are called Uncles.
My ex could kill my boner with one look.
did you give two weeks like a good little employee? or did you give “the man” the finger?
Stoney, got a CDL? We need moar drivers. These fucking vans always fill up quicker when the students come back to town.
Fun fact: Fainting goats developed their peculiar defense mechanism in order to stave off getting fucked by horny farmers. Nobody likes a dead lay. Even rednecks.
The terrorist gave Him “the finger”…*sob*
J-y’all in Nebraska got a different way of doing things.
*mounts dead deer in ditch*
Oh yeah, wait until I write up my review for that tranny truck driver rock album!
Nobody likes a dead lay.
FALSE!
State Fair started today, Fek! I’m gonna increase my cholesterol by a factor of HOLY SHIT. That fuckin’ cheese on a stick is my kryptonite, I swear to Kahless.
Fek, so Bon Jovi’s got a new release then?
No CDL, Fek, but that never stopped me before.
Poor Ewan. Clooney keeps making Jedi references. It must suck to be reminded of his participation in that clusterfuck of annoying CGI and shattered dreams.
Fek, what’s Stoney gonna do about his FilmDrunkery if he’s behind the wheel of a big rig? Drunking on an oiPhone while driving is not to be recommended. Just ask Pauly.
Why was this program shut down? Was it the bleeting heart liberals?
*Oski dodges rotten tomatoes*
I was born to truck, ’swi… Some callings can’t be denied.
Plus, just think of the sweet Ishtar mural I can airbrush on the side of a 40′ trailer…
I was going to say that Gwyneth Paltrow could play the goat, but no man would want to stare at her.
Stoney, be sure to make it a wraparound mural with the camel’s ass painted on the back door.
The hardest part of this film for Spacey was just staring at the goats.
I’m on a mother fuckin’ GOAT
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