08.05.09 PETER JACKSON LOVES TO BONE
After the jump, watch the trailer for Peter Jackson’s new film The Lovely Bones, starring Mark Wahlberg, Susan Sarandon, Rachel Weisz, and Saoirse Ronan. If the movie is any good I’ll be highly impressed because the Alice Sebold book it’s based on is a cheesy, melodramatic mess. Susie Salmon is 14 and in love, you see, and after she gets raped and murdered, she’s up in heaven trying to help her family catch her killer and OH MY GOD I CAN’T STOP WANKING DISMISSIVELY, IT BURNS! IT BURNS! I’d recommend reading Lucky, Sebold’s earlier book instead, a non-fiction account of her own rape when she was 18. It’s kind of like The Lovely Bones, only without the Hollywooden plot and scene stolen from Ghost, and you can read it without fear of spontaneously growing a vagina.
Here’s the trailer (also available in HD at Apple):
And here’s the Entertainment Tonight first look:
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![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2010/02/ValentinesDay-still-cardiga-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2010/02/DearJohn-ChanningTatum-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2010/02/Cop-out-willis-morgan-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2010/02/Empire-FixedGearGuy-150x150.jpg)
There are 23 comments about:
PETER JACKSON LOVES TO BONE
Why does Wahlberg’s hair always look like he just finished a Pete Rose sketch on SNL?
DNA, the only thing He gleaned from all of this is that if you rape and murder girls, they go to heaven.
…
TIME TO DO GOD’S WORK!
SmokeEm-Wahlburg has fucked up DNA.
I haven’t read the book, but I can only guess the little girl’s ghost emails her parents this link: http://www.uproxx.filmdrunk.com
Alternate Title: Touched By an Angel Who was Touched by a Rapist.
So this chick likes to write about rape? Like, a lot?
I’m already a fan.
Saoirse Ronan? Jeeze kid. Your name sounds like the noises Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio made when Ed Harris brought her back to life in The Abyss.
With a lead character named Susie Salmon this should be a hippie children’s book about tearing down dams.
Anyway, let us not forget what’s really important: how the fuck do you pronounce “Saoirse” and when does she turn 18?
so, raping a 14 year old is considered a lovely bone?
Jackson tried to rewrite the script about Tina Tuna, a young singer that gets beaten by her husband Pike.
Yay! Welcome to Iowa! I have sexism, racism, apathy for sex crime victims, and fish jokes!
“she’s up in heaven trying to help her family catch her killer”
You’re getting warmer, waaaaarmer. Now colder, colder, cooolde…..GODDAMN, FUCK THIS! HE LIVES AT 2467 W. CHEROKEE STREET, APARTMENT A!
+10 to Fek for making fish jokes. -100 if he starts making Phish jokes.
Do they even have water in Iowa?
But Donk, that’s DNA’s apartment numb…HEY!
Erswi-even if you are completely baffled by current events, most of Iowa was underwater this time last year in the biggest flood in recorded Iowa history. Furthermore, we border on the Mississippi river and have the Iowa and Cedar Rivers in Eastern Iowa alone.
As far as Phish jokes go…um…LOOK AT THOSE FUCKING HIPPIES! GET A HAIRCUT!
Every time a pedophile rings, a rape angel gets her wings.
most of Iowa was underwater this time last year in the biggest flood in recorded Iowa history
The damages reached into the tens of dollars.
I’ve got a New Age ghos (Tell us what she’s like)
Environmentalism ghost (Does she haunt her family?)
She has a crystal necklace (Does she spend a lot of cash?)
Though her vibes are rather reckless (She’s trying to catch her rapist)
Oh her flowing skirt is blowing in a transcendental wind
And she wonders without knowing if this joke will ever end?
Mary Moon, she’s victim of a pedophile bum
(Mary Moon, Mary Moon, Mary Moon)
Mary Moon will outlive the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come
(Mary Moon, Mary Moon, Mary Moon)
Oh she loves me so, she hates to be alone
She don’t eat meat but she sure got lovely bones.
And no, I’m not proud.
There’s no such thing as rape after 18!
You don’t need a rape victim’s ghost to tell you that a balding, mustachioed, glasses wearing guy who lives alone is a murdering child rapist or a commenter on FILMDRUNK.
fear of spontaneously growing a vagina? may friends, tis a dream.
nay* (fuck)
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