Let me start off by saying that if I were any of the Twilight actors, I sure as hell wouldn’t have turned down their parts, and I don’t envy them constantly being forced to put a positive spin on Stephenie Meyer’s poorly-written schoolgirl fantasies. “And the part where Edward takes Bella to the rainbow palace on his glitter pony? That was just… great. Like, really great. I mean, life is kind of like a glitter pony when you really think about it.”
Nonetheless, here’s a rule of thumb for all you young actors out there wanting to sound not stupid in interviews: when in doubt, don’t use the word “literally.” Chances are, you literally don’t know how to use it.
Stewart: “Yeah, and just like everything in our movie, it’s such a heightened version of reality. It’s like, people don’t just break up [in the "Twilight" films] — they break up and it literally kills you.” [MTV]
I know I know, I shouldn’t give her crap for a little thing like misusing a word. She’s a 19-year-old girl with a 7th grade education from the LA school system. It would literally be a miracle (maybe??) if she could use a word like literally properly. In LA they don’t have GED or diploma requirements, they just check you for dingleberries and if you managed to wipe without hurting yourself, you’re gold. But this isn’t her first embarrassing interview. She also told Letterman she was going to drive to Russia from London last year (see video below), so you’d probably be better off picking your community college buddies as teammates come trivia night. Anyway, I guess this was all an excuse to feel like we have something a rich, famous movie star doesn’t. Now, let us all sit round the schadenfreude fire and smoketh of the pipe called knowledge. (angel dust)


She doesn’t know how to use the word properly because it too closely resembles ‘literature’.
Jaoquin is really taking this far.
Their stupid.
I literally want to knock the bong out of her hand with a rolled-up Rand McNally.
This is your actor’s brain: *shows skillet with eggs already cooking*
This is your actor’s brain on drugs: *pours chocolate syrup on eggs*
Any questions?
-written by an actor on drugs
She, like, ya know, can’t literally speak write. How ironic.
She’s illiterally retarded.
Just like man who major in science have mind less suited for philosophy, girl whose mouth major in sucking find it less suited for speaking.
I would still literally f*** the life out of her.
Those books literally annoy me.
…if I could get her to take her lips off the pipe that is
(also, that’s what she said, wait, what?)
OK, I’m going to be the one that asks this. What is incorrect about her usage of the term literally her? First, I’m assuming the point she is making is that people actually die in these Twilight books when they break up. So she is saying they LITERALLY/ACTUALLY die when they break up, I guess? If so, I don’t get what is so wrong about her usage of the word here.
Oh, and if my assumption is incorrect (that she is saying that breaking up is a big deal because people actually die when they do), I take that all back.
She’s figuratively genius.
Or hell, reading this, it seems like there’s plenty of precedent for the alternative meaning of “literally” anyway: http://www.slate.com/id/2129105
Cut teenie some slack, driving from London to Russia isn’t much different than driving from Connecticut to Idaho.
Like you’d rather spend time in Iowa than the chunnel ?
Maybe it’s her boyish body or constantly baked looking face, but she makes me want to serenade her with some Neil “sparkles like” Diamond.
Turn on your Twilight
Let it sparkle like diamonds wherever you go
Let it make a happy glow
For all the lonely teen girls to see
Turn on your Twilight
In the middle of a young mormon’s dream
Dont wake up too soon
Gonna take a ride across the forest
You and me
Me fail English? But that’s unpossible!
“Obligatory her and twlight both suck comment”. But… she is using it properly because she is definitely referencing someone who who breaks up in the movie and is then killed. Last time I checked people get killed in movies.
No way, she says “it kills you”, as in you the audience member.
Wait, Vince was just in Russia. She wanted to drive to Russia….hrrrm. If I put 2 and 2 2gether and make 3, it seems our man Vince was trying to set up a chance rendezvous. This overly critical attack on the misuse of a word that literally everybody misuses is akin to a school boy punching a girl he really likes.
*In Adam West Batman voice* It was….a nice attempt, Vince…….butyousee….there…..were…..just…too many coincidences for this detective to not…….find you out. Take him away Commissioner.
If I was ever forced to read a Twilight book I would be certain that Stephanie Meyer was trying to literally kill me, literally.
ChildOfMen is right. She is using it correctly. When she says “it literally kills you”, she is using “literally” to clarify that when the characters break up they are in fact murdered. Normally when somebody says “kills you”, we take it like “these shoes are killing me”, which is why she had to clarify and use the word “literally”.
My hope for the future is to rid her and her fellow retards from the gene pool.
Protip : If you can’t white knight a dead eyed teen with a gumper smile your van’s gonna’ stay empty.
*climbs up on soapbox*
And all you twits that say “I could care less” instead of the proper “I couldn’t care less” have been pissing me off for years. Figure it out already.
*steps down, trips*
SWEET LACTATING JESUS!!!
VaLince, what kind of movie blog is this where the first I hear about Bring It On: Fight to the Finish is in a banner add?
Step it up, son!
*Stone Soup channels Ted Kennedy’s ghost*
Err, a, I’ll be happy to take that little piece on a ride across a large body of watah…
I DON’T WANNA FUCKING DIE OF TWILIGHT!
In my defense, I could care less. I just don’t give enough of a fuck not to.
They made 5 Bring it On’s?!
*File–>New Tab–>www.netflix.com*
I am literally too lazy to create a new ‘Ted Kennedy’s Ghost’ identity from my blackberry.
Kristen Stewart’s next big film should be Colliteral Damage.
Did somebody already say that?
I literally don’t care.
She should join the Navy and serve on the new LCS (Literal Combat Ship)
Zom’up!
I think she just got her pronouns mixed up, since she’s obviously referring to the death of a character, which is a mistake anyone could make in a conversation. Given that she’s talking about the presentation of events in the books, she obviously meant to say “they” breakup and it kills “them”. I haven’t read the books but I assume somebody breaks up with someone and then dies as a result, and she appears to be pointing out that teens can relate to this because breaking up with someone can feel like dying. It actually sounds like she has a pretty good understanding of why the books appeal to teenage girls and sounded perfectly intelligent to me.
I’M GOING TO MAKE FUN OF HER NO MATTER WHAT, DAMN YOU!!!!
Yeah I know. I just think you are a very funny writer and would actually be better served in the long run by admitting there’s a reason you chose to write about the movie industry for a living and it’s not because it’s full of idiots (which wouldn’t reflect well on you when you think about it). Also your invectives against bad film-making I think would carry more weight if you cut harmless goofballs like Kristen Stewart more slack. Just my opinion obviously.
kristen stewart is figuratively indefensible
in addition, I would still literally hit that like the fist of an angry god.
I will agree that vince is literally anally retentive when it came to this post. However, I wholeheartedly support the nitpicking and abuse of retarded celebrities. Hell, it’s my favorite thing about this blog. Keep up the good work, Vince! Literally.
If i was a nitpicker, i’d have nitpicked on this: “Yeah, and just like everything in our movie, it’s such a heightened version of reality.”
Maybe i’ve been misinformed but vampires do not fucking exist in any reality, heightened or otherwise. Not like dinosaurs. In Africa there are towns that make Bedrock look like Mega-City One.
/heh heh – butt vampires
Does anyone else think she looks like a Rankin/Bass cartoon character? (not in that pic, though)
I thought Kristen Stewart was literally a cunt?
Um, it’s sort of possible to drive from London to Russia using the Chunnel: “It is not possible to drive a car or motorcycle through the Chunnel.” Well, fuck you then. But wait: “Motorists and motorcyclists must use the car train service, whereby you drive your car or motorbike onto the Euro Shuttle train, which then takes you through the Chunnel. There’s no need to get out of your car, and the journey is over in just 35 minutes.” http://www.chunnel.org.uk/. Unless we’re not counting that as driving.
Of course, this doesn’t change the fact that Ms. Stewart may be literally retarded.
It’s Vince’s first day back, so he’ll probably need a day or two before his brain remembers how fire on all cylinders (sober up).
UGH back off KSBella FANGFIGHTER!!!! U R JUST jEaLoUs! ! ! ! ! ! Besidez it wasnt fair the interviwer asked her a rhetorical question dorkus
I would literally lose by shoe if I kicked those two queefs in the cunt.
To defend Ms. Stewart the phrase “it literally kills you” is a modern day idiom, therefore what she said was not grammatically incorrect. Though I do agree she should have used used “them” instead of “you”.
As far as saying I want to drive from London to Russia goes, thats correct too, you can drive from london to russia. Did you really want her to say “Well I want to drive down the eastern coast of England from London to Dover so I could see the white cliffs and go to Dover castle, then take a tour of the underground bunker where the Allies planned the evacuation of dunkirk. After the tour I will then drive my car onto a ferry so I can cross the English Channel and arrive in Calais, then drive from Calais to Russia.”
It’s much easier to just say I want to drive from London to Russia.
C’mon film drunk, you’re better than this drivel.
Yes, we’ve established that it was a stretch, Christ. What can I say, it was a slow news day. (And though you may argue my interpretation of whom she was referring to when she said “literally kills you”, I don’t think you can call misuse of literal a “modern day idiom”).