DreadCentral picked up an exclusive at the recent “Monster-Mania Convention” (I bet they talk about actuarial life tables there). John Landis will be producing a movie based on the West Port murders, and Simon Pegg is on board to star. In 1827 in Edinburgh, Scotland, William Burke and William Hare stole the corpse of someone who owed Hare £4 and sold it to a medical school for dissection. They made a little over £7. If my calculations are correct, that’s either around $800 in inflation-adjusted U.S. dollars, or it’s $giraffe.
Recognizing this as a profitable home business, Burke and Hare began killing people in order to sell their bodies, most fetching £8 to £10. Man, those were the good old days. Not like now, when you’ve got to pay the big bucks to maintain a crawlspace filled with quicklime.
~ robopanda
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I don’t know about an entire body, but I know where you can get head for £10.
Your Mom’s house.
Your Mom also does currency exchange, she told me for five bucks I could have ten pounds.
I’d give head to Simon Pegg. Wait…I mean I’d give a head to Simon Pegg. Yeah…yeah that’s what I meant.
Nick Frost is going to play the other guy, right? I mean Simon Pegg without Nick Frost is like having sex with my basement prostitutes without a ball gag. I mean Pegg and sex alone are ok, and I’ve soundproofed the basement so it’s not like anybody can hear them scream….but Nick Frost and that ball gag just feel right.
$800 for a dead body is a pretty good deal. I mean, I spent $3,500 on this Korean sex slave and she keeps squirming.
Oski, your just really trying to turn me on right now aren’t you? All this talk of ball gags and basement sex and Simon Pegg. Stop it damn you.
Good thing I kept the receipt on my fuck doll.
This is why most commercially available toe tags have a price line.
Possible title: Waiting to Exhume
So Jessica, just mentioning Simon Pegg gets you off, now I know what that kid with the remote to Katherine Heigl’s vibrating underwear felt like:
Shaun of the Dead……..Hot Fuzz………That Big Train sketch about wanking at the office………..SPACED…SPACED…SPACED…SPAAAAAAAACED
Get a room. One without internet access, preferably.
Sales from the Crypt
If these salesmen are into necrophilia, they can pull the old ‘bate and switch.
800 dollars per corpse? Wow, you could really make a killing off of that.
I liken this job to a Viagra salesman. Except instead of selling “remaining stiff” you are selling “stiff remains”.
Joe Jackson would’ve sold Michael’s corpse for 75 dollars and a coupon for 10% off his next purchase at Sears.