(Picture is unrelated)
This one doesn’t sound all that interesting at first, but read between the lines a little. The story is that Jerry Bruckheimer paid seven figures for the rights to a short story called “Shake.”
The origin of Jay Haas’ story was a new site called Popcornfiction.com that he recently created for TV and film writers to showcase their pulpy short fiction. Among the contributors are Craig Mazin (“Superhero Movie”), Scott Frank (“The Lookout”), Jeff Lowell (“Over Her Dead Body”) and Nichelle D. Tramble (“Women’s Murder Club”). [Thank God, I'd been searching for new stuff from the Over Her Dead Body guy -Ed.]
Bruckheimer apparently visited the site, loved Haas’ story of an FBI agent chasing a killer while he begins to lose control of his own body and bought the idea for a potential Disney film.
As Zack Morris would say, time the f’ck out: Did they really just report that Disney is making Parkinson’s Disease Cop? I’m trying desperately not to make a Michael J. Fox joke here, and it took every ounce of restraint not to use this as the banner pic (please forgive me, Jeebus, it’s your dad’s fault for making me this way…), but the honest truth is that there’s a hole in my heart where Michael J. Fox movies used to live. And if it takes a tasteless Jerry Bruckheimer movie to fill it… I guess I can live with that. The twist? The killer is the cure!
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The British Nanny Union is scrambling to develop new membership video titles.
I’m sorry, I didn’t hear any of that. I was too busy trying to hug the adorable puppy through the monitor.
I hope everyone mentioned in this story dies.
Somehow, I imagined a literacola would be less, …furry.
I thought it was in slightly poor taste when he had to sew his promotion patches to his uniform.
With Disney involved, expect that title to change to The Shaky D.A.
The Border Puppy Task Force always makes their collar.
If Quentin Tarantino made this film, it would be titled Involunterry Manslawturr
He ultimately gets assigned to a desk job after shooting a record 37 bystanders while chasing his suspect on foot.
Alt title: The Secret of My Shakeccess.
SPOILER ALERT: turns out the killer is a whole Italian family. He has to individually track down and bring to justice all the multiple Sclerosis’.
If Robert Rodriquez optioned this script, the film would be called El Dopa.
Michael J. Fox in: Get that F’n Etch A Sketch Outta My Face!
Maybe his affliction will balance out in the fight scenes and everything will look steady.
He could go undercover as Shakes the Clown.
I’m guessing they didn’t budget a single tripod into this.
That’s it Callahan! Give me your badge and your gun and your bottle of carbidopa/levodopa.
When the cop has the drop on the perp and starts to give those silent hand signals to his partner, he won’t have a fucking clue.
As he sinks further into depression, he decides to end it by his own hand. He places his gun to his temple, pulls the trigger, and ups his bystander total to 38!
“Looks like murder is one bad habit (pokes self in eye while removing sunglasses) this perp can’t shake.”
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
During a car chase, he looses the perps trail when he is pulled over and ticketed for swerving.
Bruckheimer meant to pay four figures for the script, but he was in character.
But, all he has to do is find the magic ticket so he can cross back into the movie world. He’ll be okay there, right? He can’t die, he just can’t!
There is no reading between the lines here. It’s all lines.
The cop is well known for viciously threatening people to get information before leaving. So much so that this maneuver has its own nickname down at the station. They call it the “Shake, Rattle, and Roll”.
“I’m getting too old for this shit… filled adult diaper.”
He plays an excellent good cop/bad cop in the interrogation room.
Jay Haas ? Does the cop have the yips ?
But the protagonist turns bad cop and proceeds to shake down local businesses.
Look, with all the crime and poverty statistics, it should be apparent to everyone that projects don’t work. Even new ones will just turn into drug riddled hoods within a few weeks. Jerry Bruckheimer can just fuck off.
By the credits, he gains redemption by shaking himself out of it.
Not sure if I ever told you guys this on ebefore, but have any of you ever wondered how I became independantly wealthy?
I used to play Jenga with Michael J. Fox for $100 a game.
“This summer, watch Michael J. Fox portray intenet security captain Ted Parkins in “Shake, Rattle and LOL.”
The whole premise of the script seems kind of….you know.
“intenet” = internet.
Dangit.
If Quentin can use music from other films, I see no reason why Shakedown by Bob Seger from Beverly Hills Cop II can’t be the theme song for this.
If only they could get Michael Beasley and Muhammad Ali in this, they could call it “Shake and Bake and Shake”
After being fired from the hardware store, he finally finds his true calling as manager of a vaudeville pizza joint.
For dramatic effect, Bruckheimer has his K-9 partner die of whiplash to hypnotic synthesizer music.
Donkey – Sorry about the Shake Rattle and Roll steal. I foorgot to read the first page before I posted.
Great minds, eh?