JEREMY PIVEN & KEN JEONG DID WWE RAW
08.05.09
Jeremy Piven is on Entourage, which I try not to hold against him since he’s the only thing approaching good on that show. He also stars in The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard, which he recently promoted by appearing on WWE’s Monday Night Raw at the Mohegan Sun Casino. Accompanied by his sidekick Ken Jeong*, Piven announces the “lumberjack match” between John Cena and The MiZ, whom Piven keeps referring to as “Le Miz”. Haha, it’s funny because no one there gets it. And wait a second, isn’t The MiZ that guy from The Real World who everyone laughed at because he wanted to be a wrestler? They actually let him be a wrestler? Where have I been? Oh that’s right, not watching “raw” wrestling. Call me old fashioned, but when I hear “lumberjack match” I expect someone getting hit with an axe or f’d in the B. Or at least some flapjacks. Buttery, syrupy, muscular flapjacks, all laying on top of each other? Mm-mm, my stomach has a boner just thinking about them.
*additional trivia: who’s actually licensed to practice medicine)
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![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/01/Haley-Joel-osment-gay-sassy-pants-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2011/10/Ken-Jeong-150x150.jpg)
This went a lot better for ratings than when they let Paul Rudd introduce the matches. No one wanted to fight anymore, so they all just kind of hung out and had some beers.
Wait a minute, are you saying that you want somebody who’s licensed to practice medicine getting hit with an axe or fucked in the ass?
Did ‘Taker prison-fuck Piven in the showers? Otherwise, not interested.
*additional trivia: Acupuncture and Tiger Balm isn’t considered medicine over here.
When Ken Jeong was in the ring, he became a fake doctor.
Mark it Zero is a wrestler?
In that coat, he’s Ken Jeong Ill.
John Cena thinks The Goods needs more kidnapped girlfriends.
Not since I got kicked out of the luchador union when that fucking midget stole my mask. I had to hang up my cape and my dignity.
It’s quite fitting since Piven has always been Cusack’s Marty Janetty.
Or at least some flapjacks. Buttery, syrupy, muscular flapjacks, all laying on top of each other? Mm-mm, my stomach has a boner just thinking about them.
Vince always orders the Rooty Tooty Fresh N’ Fruity from IHOP.
I wonder if Piven understands the irony of him plugging something.
Donk, we call him DNA now.
Dr. Ken is a better heel than Randy Orton.
Marty Janetty would eat a bag of cat poop to be John Cusack’s Marty Janetty.
/serious
marty jenetty wrestles in a small independent league down here called nywc. my friend’s younger brother also wrestles there and he said that janetty would polish off a bottle of bourbon every night before hitting the ring. now that’s being a rocker.
/serious
i don’t quite know why i said “down here” when referring to long island, new york, but you get the idea
when le miz wrestles “nobody shouts or talks too loud,
not in my castle on a cloud”… they are too busy hating on him