In the same vein as Paris je T’aime, I Love You, New York is a compilation of short films set in New York from a bunch of different directors including Brett Ratner, Allen Hughes and Randy Balsmyer — who I’d never heard of, but has a name that rivals “Chad Farthouse.”  Scarlett Johansson also directed a segment but it didn’t make the cut, which in light of the fact that a Brett Ratner segment did, has to feel like getting picked last for kickball when Steven Hawking’s on the playground.

I’m not too interested in this, perhaps because I live in New York and every time I hear someone say “Only in New York!” I want to peel off the skin of their face with a claw hammer, and I just can’t stomach the thought of a two-hour love letter to why it’s “the best place on Earth” or “the center of the universe.”  Kinda like when I lived in San Diego and couldn’t go two days without hearing someone brag about the weather, or hear how they called their cousin from Chicago to make him jealous because of the weather and how good the weather is and is so much better than the weather in Chicago, because Chicago doesn’t have as good a weather.  I get it, dude, it’s warm here.  Find a f*cking hobby.

[also available in HD at Apple]