When word came down the other day that Steven Spielberg was producing a Halo movie, I for one was excited. Because when Steven Spielberg is producing something, you know it means he’s going to walk down to the set and scratch his balls for a few minutes while Lucas nukes the fridge or Michael Bay makes the robots hump. Which is why it saddened me to learn that Microsoft, who owns Halo, says the project is on hold. NOW where’s Spielberg supposed to scratch his balls and look bored? Said a Microsoft spokesperson…
We’re glad there’s still a lot of enthusiasm in the entertainment industry surrounding the idea of a Halo movie. That said, the Halo feature film remains on hold as we focus on projects like Halo 3: ODST and Halo: Reach. [Kotaku]
So there you have it, gamers. For the time being you’ll just have to slake your appetite for video games by, uh… playing… uh… video games? Haha, that can’t be right, that would just be stupid.
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In other words, they want Halo: Reach to come out before the movie about the fall of Reach comes out because they want to maximize tie-ins.
Also, when a movie and a video game with the same plot come out at about the same time, people are classically conditioned to believe the game sucks (because it always does).
Oh fuck, I forgot to write a joke in there…
I hope Microsoft makes them write a part into the film about how one of the MAC guns protecting Reach doesn’t fire because iTunes is trying to run an update on the system at a crucial time.
Gamer: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Gamer’s Mom (Voice From Upstairs): Danny, are you okay?
Gamer: Mom! How many times do I have to tell you to address me as Master Chief John 117 and to not interrupt me in my fortress of solitude?!?
Gamer’s Mom (Under her breath): More like fortress of wankatude.
Gamer: What?
Gamer’s Mom: Nothing dear, just bring up the laundry from the dryer.
Well, if there’s something gamers are accustomed to, it’s disappointment.
This is one of the few times in their lives that gamers will get screwed.
Halo: Reach.(around)
Lucas nuked the fridge and it pissed off Bret Ratner cause his Frito Pie was in there.
Microsoft promise, Microsoft missed deadline, Microsoft disappointment, ??????, PROFIT !
anything and everything HALO is a huge load of hype built around the premise of a sub-ordinary collection of FPS games that have stolen ideas from so many other games and movies.
::inhale::
That said, a movie should be GREAT! I mean, look what they did with GI JOE!