Sometimes I get caught up in this insular, nerdy world of movie news and take stories for granted.  Anyway, I thought this was obvious, but I guess it’s a story – G.I. Joe will not screen for critics.  /Film has a nice little rundown on past movies not screened for critics here, but basically, not screening for critics is a tacit admission that the movie sucks.  If you’re confident in your product, you want to get it to as many people as possible and create all the positive word of mouth you can.  Paramount clearly doesn’t expect much of a positive reaction, so it chose instead to handpick critics who are easy lays like Harry Knowles and shun the rest (and it seems to be working, as it’s gotten mostly positive reviews so far).  But of course, to hear them tell it, they wanted to screen it for the Real Fans in Real America, not those elitist commy fags on the coast, with their berets and fancy expresso drank.

The studio says it’s intentionally aiming the movie at the heartland, at cities and audiences outside the entertainment vortexes of New York and Los Angeles. Paramount held a screening Friday for 1,000 military service members and their families at Andrews Air Force Base; it’s also focusing marketing efforts in places like Kansas City, Charlotte, N.C., and Columbus, Ohio.

Because people in the cities and people in the country couldn’t possibly hope to enjoy the same things!

While appealing to a sense of patriotism nationwide [editor's note: False], the plan also is inspired by the disparity that existed between the critical trashing “Transformers: Rise of the Fallen” received and the massive crowds it drew at the box office.

Shocking. Though you’d think a studio that actually cared about negative reviews wouldn’t have hired Stephen Sommers in the first place.

“`G.I. Joe’ is a big, fun, summer event movie — one that we’ve seen audiences enjoy everywhere from Andrews Air Force Base in Maryland to Phoenix, Ariz.,” said Rob Moore, vice chairman of Paramount Pictures. “After the chasm we experienced with `Transformers 2′ between the response of audiences and critics, we chose to forgo opening-day print and broadcast reviews as a strategy to promote `G.I. Joe.’ We want audiences to define this film.” [AP]

Oh f*ck off, Paramount.  The difference between an “audience” and a critic is that you don’t have to hear whether an audience liked the movie after you have their money.