GERMAN MOVIE IS GERMAN
08.25.09
Michael Haneke‘s The White Ribbon won this year’s Palme d’Or (French for “Golden Shower of Praise”) at this year’s Cannes Film Festival. The trailer is below, in German and black and white. Fancy! An astute reader theiving Kraut-talker over at /film provides a translation, and here’s an excerpt:
“Today a little short of two months ago . . . the doctor had a riding accident. This accident was caused by a tight rope set up in his garden. We all know that the ones responsible for my son’s and the doctor’s severe injuries are . . . here. Among us. Sitting in this room.” [Ed.- and the call was coming from inside the house]
Well, that’s cheerful. The film is set in 1913 and the doctor’s ”accident” is just one of many. Sure, when it’s a black and white pre-WWI movie in a foreign language it’s art, but when Final Destination does it, it’s crap. Whatev. *continues making decoupage with pictures of Devon Sawa*
~ robopanda
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And, yes, I know the director is Austrian. Still a film from Germany.
You tie a white ribbon around the old oak tree when your husband gets out of jail and you just want him to booty call and leave.
“…was caused by a tight rope set up in his garden…”
Green thumb chokebate gone awry?
I think Michael Haneke’s is in someone’s pocket. Folded up all nice. He’s for blowin’ AND for showin’.
My German is a little rusty (I keep him under the drain pipe) but I’m pretty sure he said, “the killer is here. In this room. In leiderhosen. Tee hee”
I’ve had a few accidents involving “white ribbons” in my day. Look, it happens to all guys sooner or later OK! Just, gimmee fifteen minutes and a little head…
Ich kann nicht sicher sein, est ist Deutsch, bis sie schie&t auf der brust.
(blah, blah, shit on chest, blah)
I won a Palm d’Face award at the bar last night. I told a girl that her face would look better crumpled up on my bedroom floor.
Verballikendajunkenshits = lick the dirty scrote.
Hienz: We need to check out de gassen chamber.
Klaus: I vil not check it!
Hienz: Who vil?
Klaus: [points to Mr. Lipshitz] Juden!
Christopher Reeves does not see the humor in this.
Because he’s dead, you see.
I tripped that dickhead horse.
NICE SHOES ASSHOLE!
hehe splooge
Dan Rosen calls this the “best German equine-related black and white film” he’s seen this week.
Did he watch it from Heaven, Stone?
But does Daniel Radcliffe get naked and fuck the horse, that’s what I wanna
seeknow.We all know that the ones responsible for my son’s and the doctor’s severe injuries are . . . here
Is that the horse’s mother talking?
Note to self, don’t use strikoute on “see” as a punchline.
The Germans thought that Schindler’s List was caused by one leg being shorter than the other.
Well, that looked shit.
That’s what the fuck that Kraut gets for trying to do a Double-Pits-to-Chesty on Mr. Ed.
[jive talking black dude walks up to guy in funny hat]
Yo! What’s the Hapsburg?
[fist bump]
A tight rope accident? The Germans were trying to kill him and make soap on a rope.
Leg up!
Here’s a spoiler: since its Haneke, there’s no answer to any mystery.