Today’s Forgotten Classic is Bailey’s Billions — sorry, check that, Baileys Billion$, from 2005. Bailey is a golden retriever, you see, and he has inherited a fortune from his late owner, much to the chagrin of her evil, greedy son, Tim Curry and his wife Jennifer Tilly, playing the same roles they did in Home Alone and Liar Liar, respectively. Bailey becomes CEO of the company, “My new boss is a golden retriever!” says Laurie Holden, while Tim Curry plots revenge in ridiculous clothes and Dean Cain talks to animals. Oh, and did I mention the dog is voiced by Jon Lovitz? (*spreads peanut butter on balls*)
Sadly there are no record scratch sound effects, but there is a (*sproi-yoing*) and some gratuitous dog-wearing-sunglass footage. Dogs wearing sunglasses are to me like firewater is to an Indian. They’re the reason I can’t hold a job.
Thanks to Johnny Utah for the tip.
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“You can talk to dogs? What’s he thinking right now?”
“He’s thinking you should take your clothes of.”
*sproi-yoing*
Michelle Owen finally found her very own J. Howard Marshall.
I wish my dog was more interested in talking to me.
He just humps my leg and goes right to sleep.
Dean Cain talks to animals.
Presumably the years on “Lois and Clark” helped prepare him for this role.
I wonder if that dog can sit, stay and make it rain.
LOL! Bailey had the catering service serve ALPO at the company picnic! Everyone in attendance agreed it was better than that shit from Arby’s!
“Baily isn!t your ordinary dog. When he rolls over, it’s in a big pile of cash *kaching*”
Now that he’s rich, he only bangs bitches who have just turned a year old.
He likes ‘em “Bailey legal”
I so want to see Jennifer Tilly’s improvisational outtakes with the dog. Call it a hunch…
Is this where our taxpayer money is going?
Is this the big government Bail out?
Lucky dog. His brother was given away to a blind man and named Brailley.
Billionaire dog more frightened of rolled up Wall Street Journal than articles inside.
CEO dog need no personal assistant; perfectly capable of kissing own ass.
If Tim Curry’s revenge plot doesn’t involve Michael Vick, he’s fucking retarded.
CEO dog not wear full suit to office. Only has collar and pants.
CEO dogs vacation at Kennel Club Med.
CEO dogs know more about disappointment than regular dogs. Have you ever tried chasing a Lamborghini?
CEO dogs are always barking orders.
CEO dog’s buried bones in different area codes.
CEO dogs don’t have to chase pussy.
CEO dogs make YOU fetch.
A CEO dog earning $70 million a year really only earns $10 million a dog year.
What do CEO dogs release to chase intruders off their property?
CEO dogs occasionally have to declare barkruptcy.
CEO dogs specialize in rollovers.
HOLY FUCKING KAHLESS ON A MOTHERFUCKING KRACKER!
The big burly truck drivin’ tranny just came into the office and sold me a heavy metal album that her and her friend made for ten fucking dollars! Stay tuned as this story develops!!!
CEO dogs can be micromangers.
CEO dogs want diamonds and gold foil paper on their cupcakes.
GIVE THAT DOG A FUCKING CUPCAKE!!!!
Ha Ha. I love you money.
CEO dogs still enjoy chasing tail.
CEO dogs give their bitches diamond ringworms.
CEO dogs smear peanut butter on their junk and have people lick it off.
CEO dogs are the HDIC.
When a CEO dog sits on a board, he also scoots around on it to scratch his asshole.
CEO dogs insist on shaking on every business deal.
Since that dog took over, the companies stocks are going through the ROOF.
Should have been “company’s”. Really should have been “cum panties”.
CEO dog was gonna get collared for fraud but decided to flee.
Really though, a dog CEO? Sounds a little far FETCHed if you ask me.
CEO dog just leashed a condo on the Gulf Coast.
CEO dogs is making money in spades.
CEO dogs enjoy lunch meatings.
CEO dog thinks that commodities are where you go to get a drink when the water dish is empty.
CEO dog couldn’t sniff out a good investment if it bit him on the tail. Somebody should give him a couple of Pointers.
CEO dog’s success came after he read The Long Tail.
CEO dogs sniff rather than chew your ass.
A CEO dog’s secretary has to carry pepper spray to bring him his mail.
When asked if the economy had affected the company’s business, CEO dog said “2007 was pretty ruff. Ruff. Ruff ruff ruff.”
CEO dog wants you to bring him some kennel coughy.
CEO dog’s favorite Devo song is Whippet.
*high fives Duke*
CEO dog has a fat 401K9.
CEO dog gets turned on by presentations.
CEO dog attended his master’s funeral. He was a paw bearer.
This movie looks pretty good…I mean it’s the best movie ever….yeah, that’s the ticket.
CEO dog warns that if the downturn continues, there’ll be spay cuts across the board.
CEO dog hates Ticks and Leeches.
CEO dog ate Gordon Gecko for breakfast.
You’re not playihg along, Tool.
Sorry…
CEO dog’s favo(u)rite song is ParaBOWLa.
CEO dog’s favorite song is LaterHOWLus.
CEO dog trusts his ÆnimaL instincts when making the tough decisions.
(Like who to fire when the ‘net speeds drop, because SOMEONE *ahem* blew the DL limit with their precious doggy-porn…)
Niiice. I’m tapped out. :(
Bailey is a golden retriever
FALSE!
CEO Dog only trusts Scooby Jew with his investments.
Bailey’s Billions still looks better than Brewster’s Millions and light years better than A Million to Juan.