08.18.09 DIORA BAIRD IS FANTASTIC, MAYBE CAST IN THOR
Welcome to another installment of FilmDrunk’s ongoing one-sided love affair with Diora Baird (nude pics here, NSFW, obviously). CHUD reports:
I don’t follow many celebrities on Twitter anymore – most of them are dull as hell – but Diora Baird is a bright spot in my daily feed. Funny, smart and raunchy, Baird’s tweets are always worth reading. And yesterday they got semi-newsworthy.
Baird tweeted this:
Had an audition for the movie Thor today. Character description was ‘pretty, but sturdy with muscle’. Damn type casting.
I tried to get her to spill the beans as to who she would be playing, but all she would say was
I cant say. I’ll go to jail. For real. Had to sign my soul away.
Here’s her twitter, and I’ll post some of the more interesting tweefs below:
- I guess I “mock” myself then. And by “mock” I mean “make love to”.
- I am a human masturbatory aid. Dream #14, check.
- Im happy to pop your cherry.
- Im always here with a dildo joke.
- Watch me jiggle my boobs at http://bit.ly/13Tm29 I know, Im quite the intellectual.
- Girl:’Can I have your autograph?’ Me:’Sure’(as Im signing) Oh, wait. Thats not my vagina’. It was Kristy Swasnsons’! Does my vagina look 40?
- Yeah, poop is the best odor. Gonna start a perfume line called ‘Ass’.
- Just saw a movie and I’m almost positive the old man sitting next to me shat himself.
- Thanks! I would love as many pantless followers as possible.
- A new strain of HIV was found in a woman in Paris. It came from a gorilla. People! Enough with the monkey f-cking already! Goats are better.
And that’s just in the past five days. I can’t believe she has fewer than 1,300 stalkers followers.
~ robopanda
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There are 29 comments about:
DIORA BAIRD IS FANTASTIC, MAYBE CAST IN THOR
@GaryJBusey follows her. At least, he does NOW.
@Ryan_Gosling is on board, but only if they can be friends first.
Of all the chicks I want to fuck, Diora Baird is one of them.
Am I allowed to say fuck?
“Sturdy” doesn’t appear to mean what it used to.
@diorabaird1 I touch myself every time I read your updates
@oski thanks, I do the same with you, LOLRDISCO!
@diorabaird1 No, seriously bitch, I’m trying to be creepy over here!
Her twitter bio says “I eat my meals standing over the kitchen sink.” What a odd coincidence. I look at her pictures standing over the bathroom sink.
“Spill the beans” means to murder a Mexican, right¿
I wouldn’t follow her on Twitter as much as I would follow her home with a bottle of chloroform.
I wonder if Rooster could interest Diora in taking a ride in the Never Ending Story Van?
She has a nice set of twitties.
I eat my meals on a tree limb overlooking her bedroom window while wearing an owl costume with night vision goggles.
I think I’ve said too much.
Rooster would probably be interested 18-20 years ago Moose. She’s no longer his type/age.
He still rapes trishalinedm, and she’s 30 and moderately doable.
Let’s stick to making fun of him instead of making me feel lonely eh?
I agree, Jirish.
But Moose, you haven’t seen her recently.
I’m following her now so that I can keep abreast of her latest tweets.
Jacktion!, you’re right. She’s probably decomposing as we speak. That would make her slightly less doable in Rooster’s eyes.
Hey guys, how does Rooster keep deaf kids from reporting him to the cops on rape charges?
He cuts off their fingers! (or kills them)
When I run Hollywood Diora Baird will play every part in every movie. She will star in the sequel to Malcolm X.
Your new name is Mooster. Accept it and move on.
I always wanna use Mrs. Bairds buns for my meat.
Mooster sounds like a creepy uncle name so I guess that works.
I tried to find pictures of Diora Baird’s “twitter” but it turns out it was some social networking crap. My penis and I were very disappointed.
I am now a follower of Diora’s twatter
@diorabaird1 If I let you toke on my Northern Lights, will you let me poke your Diora Borealis?
Me as casting director: “Diora, you don’t even have to read the part. I’m gonna make you Thor.”
Fingers crossed this will be in 3D.
3D x 32DD = 3=ºººº=D••••••••••••
Ruh roh.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/us_and_americas/article6801213.ece
The U.S. Supreme court hasn’t come to terms with witchcraft yet ; I wish them luck with defenestration.
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