(Do you enjoy mustache rides, but also scabies?)
Don’t adjust your monitors, folks, I know it looks like they dug up Freddy Mercury’s corpse and died its hair blond and gave it more AIDS, but that’s just Daniel Craig in the first publicity photo for the Broadway show A Steady Rain, co-starring Hugh Jackman.
Jackman, who won a Tony in 2004 for hoofing it as 1970s singer-songwriter Peter Allen in The Boy From Oz, plays Denny, a patrolman with a racist streak and violent temper. And Craig, a London stage veteran making his Broadway debut, plays Joey, a recovering alcoholic and gentler soul who may not be as docile as he first seems. [EW]
To recap: blah blah blah holy God that is the ugliest f’ing mustache I’ve ever seen, and I’ve had sex with your mother. It’s like Hugh Jackman figured out how to combine a Golden Shower and a Dirty Sanchez into one, and he probably did because he’s fancy.
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It looks like the glue from a fake mustache is still stuck to his lip.
Alternate Title: Crash: Into My Ass
That may be a gnarly stache but I bet you dollars to donuts every seat in that theater will be STICKY!
Not pictured: their dicks are actually touching.
When the penny finally drops it’ll be soup to nuts.
They’re both sitting on old-timey bicycles with the big front wheel right?
With a dick-broom nustache like that, his chin has to be the dust pan.
But which one will Meryl Streep play in the movie version ?
Wolverine’s “Snot n Slick” sideburns vs. 007′s Pedo-Vannin’ Stache
WHO YA GOT, BUB???
His mustache covers his nutstash.
Sam Elliot is amused.
I Jackman’s five o’clock shadow gets worse they’re going to end up stuck together like velcro.
These two look like they just got their night ruined by a bouncer who wouldn’t accept a blow job as a bribe.
Only one way to get a mustache like that…
Chugging dirt pipe milkshakes.
Craig and Jackman together? Rawr, I don’t care what’s on his face.
STONE COLD SCABIES!
I know a certain vanner who’s cooked squirrels smaller than that moustache.
Dan Rosen calls that moustache “the finest example of male grooming Broadway has encountered this month.”
I don’t get it with these two assclowns, honestly. What kind of sex appeal do an australian fairy and a brit homobear (a masculine balltonguer.) As a straight man momentarily pondering a potential cocaine/zima fueled one nighter with a gay of my choice, I’d rather *munge than be sodomized by one of these fake-american millionaire, sex symbol actors. Look I’m not sayin’ I’m just sayin’ is all…..
*My cousin Glen told me that munging is when you dig up a dead chick and eat her out while someone that is with you steps on her stomach. I didn’t really start to wonder how Glen came up with munging until after he and my aunt Lorraine went back to Milwaukee.