It’s been 70 years this month since the first Wizard of Oz movie with Judy Garland came out. Now Todd McFarlane (Spawn) is co-producing a reboot and it’s rumored Dakota Fanning may sign on to play Dorothy. I would rather watch Wishmagic: The Horse That Wrote Poems than any Oz movie not involving prison sex.
Daily Express reports:
But the new movie will be “darker and more action-packed” according to one Warner Bros executive.
It is the brainchild of producer Basil Iwanyk [Ed. - that's practically my porn name, Basil Iwantdyk], who explained: “It will be set in the present day and feature Dorothy’s granddaughter.”
Co-producer Todd McFarlane said: “You’ve still got Dorothy trapped in an odd place, but she’s much closer to the Ripley character from Alien than a helpless singing girl.” [...]
Terence Doyle, editor of British Film Magazine, said: “We’re perfectly placed to make it here. We have some of the best special technicians in the world and, post Harry Potter, they’ll all be twiddling their thumbs.”
I’ll be back in a bit. I’ve got to jet over to England so I can cut off some thumbs.
~ robopanda
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Look at the way Dakota’s dressed…she’s askin’ for a vanin’.
I’d like to give Dakota the ol’ yellow brick’d load.
When the wizard leaves Oz in this movie its in a custom van full of child, with a mural of what he’s about to do to Dakota Fanning on the side of it, that he got done for a carton of marlboros at the last meet in hoboken new jersey.
i hope dakota finds really old dorothy in oz somewhere,(even though thats completely implausible as dorothy was like 16 and sexy as hell when she left and had no kids so where the fuck did a grand daughter come from….) but ya she finds er, ravaged from 55 years of midget torture, winston lights, natural ice and custom van mural work
In this one, the Tin Man will represent speculative investors, the Scarecrow will represent the liberal media, and the Cowardly Lion will be the religious right.
Also, the yellow-brick road will represent the infrastructure built with the rich’s tax money being used frivolously by the “little man” who, as it turns out, is little more than a diabetic and hedonistic retard.
The Wicked Witch of the East will represent common sense, so naturally she’ll be crushed early. The Wicked Witch of the West will represent fearmongering among blowhards.
The Emerald City will be a government-run hospital and the guard at the gate will be known as Panel Morte.
The Wizard himself, of course, is a guy who’s not from Oz, but is wildly popular and seems to be doing a decent job, although nobody’s quite sure who’s really pulling the strings.
The color-changing horse? Well, he’s just a horse that changes colors. So that’s cool.
I’ll only see this if Johnny Depp plays the Scarecrow and Deep Roy plays every member of the Lollipop Guild.
“The Dark Wizard of Oz” would actually be a pretty good nickname for Obama.
I want Dakota Fanning to give me some brain.
I find this amusing since McFarlane had released an S and M line of Wizard of Oz toys a few years ago that had Dorthy in bondage and being branded by Munchkins. And no I’m not making that up:
http://www.iwatchstuff.com/2007/08/22/wizard-of-oz-mcfarlane.jpg
The Dark Wizard of Oz recycles the Tin Man for cash.
Will someone not posting from a battery-operated device please nominate Donk’s metaphorical post please?
I thought they already made a dark version of the Wizard of Oz. Called The Wiz? No?
When Dakota is in my rapevan theres no escape she can click her heels 3 times all she wants
Dakota Fanning is too old to go for rides in Rape Vans (look at her…she almost has boobs)
I would Stone, but I think he got the lion and the scarecrow mixed up. The gutless and the stupid analogies hold though.
Has anyone made the Dakota Vanning joke yet?
“We’re perfectly placed to make it here. We have some of the best special technicians in the world and, post Harry Potter, they’ll all be twiddling their thumbs.”
Meanwhile, at the Hall of Vanners….
Story: Thats the signal! Flip the switch!
*Trish pulls a lever, a wall flips around to reveal the lube rack*
Story: Pick a Johnson & Johnson brand.
Moose, we’re better than that. Plus the progression of jokes goes rape first, then obvious puns.
Instead of clicking her heels, she has to Knock some boots in order to get home.
Toto, we’re not in Kansas any more. You can lick me there.
El Topo says:
Instead of clicking her heels, she has to Knock some boots in order to get home.
Damn I thought I was on to something wit my click her heels 3 times but you one up’d me my good man
I would love to see Dakota star in this dark Wizard of Oz sequel!