08.20.09 DAILY CIRCLE JERK: FALCON PUNCH EDITION

Hey, look - a Maxi-Pad-Pad. All it needs is a tiny wind sock.

Is it sad that I have no idea what Captain Falcon or Falcon Punch is?

~OR~

Is it sad that I frequent a movie blog site just to post “hilarious” witticisms in the vain hope of recognition from some nerds I’ll never meet?

~Discuss~

Define “meet”.

When fist “meets” anus, of course.

What other kind is there?

Let’s not discuss it at all. May hit too close to home for some. *

* me

The fact that someone ASKED if that dildo actually could be made cold by putting it in the fridge amuses and scares me in equal measure. It makes you wonder how many of the Twilight fans are sneaking into morgues at night.

“I’m still a virgin if the guys dead right mom? Mom? Why are you crying??”

Hey Jess, why don’t you calm down that criticism. Me, this jar of body glitter, and my bedazzler thing that you shouldn’t be so quick to judge trends.

Also, I don’t recommend trying to make your own set of those shelves. Women keep running out of the office when they see my desk.

Maybe they’re just allergic to Kool-Aid, who knows.

Maybe your right Jirish..

(cuddles her snuggie made out of Taylor Lautner’s shaved off body hair)

The Folger’s commercials are funnier if you substitute the word vagina instead of coffee.

Man how times have changed. I saw “taylor’s shaved off body hair” and though F*** YEA. Then remembered that it’s a muscly teenage boy and was like F*** YE… nm

Finally, what Stephanie Meyer should have kept inside of HER can now be kept inside of YOU!