08.07.09 PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE KILL YOURSELF.
Collider recently got the chance to talk to Hasbro CEO Brian Goldner, the guy behind the idea to make movies out of boardgames. Put on your helmets, because it’s about to get stupid. (*record scratch*)
“’Candy Land’ is not just about the board game. If you really think about it, it’s an adventure that a kid goes on with his parents when they go across that board.”
F-ck yourself.
“’Monopoly’ has this wonderful history. If you’ll remember, “Monopoly” was literally invented at The [Great] Depression, so that idea, this fiction that’s really there, this non-fiction fiction that’s really there in the game and in the fact that there’s such great roots to this brand and the history of the brand, we bring this to life with a story about families.”
F-ck yourself.
“Well Ridley did have an idea. He grew up on “Monopoly” over in the UK and “Monopoly” is a brand that’s all over the world. But for Ridley, he’s always been a guy that’s created these great big worlds and so for us, “Monopoly” is this great big world that will look like our world but of course there are certain things about it that make it uniquely a “Monopoly” kind-of-world.”
F-ck yourself.
“Oh, I’m not going to tell you quite yet but I will say that it’s everything you could imagine in a “Battleship” movie. It’s really a phenomenal idea.” [via Collider, who also has the video]
The man is a geyser of stupid.
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/11/risk-retardpig-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/09/archiejudhead-filmdrunk-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/09/ridley_scott-150x150.jpg)
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![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/08/leo-dicap-ridscott-150x150.jpg)
There are 46 comments about:
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE KILL YOURSELF.
Brian Goldner doesn’t give a shit as long as he gets to be the banker.
My penis is a geyser of love.
Well if they’re gonna do all of this they should make a movie out of “Twister” that I don’t have to pay $14.99 a month for. ($25 for 90 days)
Guess who’s all alone in the office this afternoon . . .
* points to crotch
I bet he still sleeps better at night than I do.
I may have to see Battleship, simply because they HAVE to, at some point in the film, break a “dramatic” moment and have someone say “You sunk my Battleship”. I think I literally have to see that.
Bronson Pinchot is looking for a role as the inkeeper on Baltic Avenue.
This literally BOGGLES my mind.
I’d like to see him star in Operation.
They should make a movie about an unimportant chase.
Trivial Pursuit.
BOOM.
I’m a fucking genius.
I am so SORRY to have heard about any of this. The TROUBLE is that now I can’t figure out how to work PARCHEESI in.
These will be alright. I think Bad Lieutenant was a board game.
I hope to block the Monopoly movie with an anti-trust lawsuit. Education, bitches.
Mel Gibson was mistakenly excited for a second when he heard about the Yahtzee movie.
I think they should do some crossovers, like Saw 7:Mousetrap
“And since I have my head up my ass, I’m working on a script for Poopchutes and Ladders.”
there are certain things about it that make it uniquely a “Monopoly” kind-of-world.”
[int. county jail - a dark, musty place full of the worst low-lifes you can imagine; people who didn't pay their luxury tax, community chest robbers, bankers caught stealing from the till and, those that to which Chance simply wansn't kind. A new prisoner enters his cell, his cell-mate having just gotten back from seeing a friend who was just visiting sizes him up]
Prisoner 1[gruffly]: What’re you in fer?
Prisoner 2: I beat up some gooks on Oriental Avenue. What about you?
Prisoner 1: Rolled a double three times in a row…
In a world where terrorists are trying to hijack planes, these two TSA agents are all that stands between freedom and tyranny.
Checkers
Thanksgiving 2010.
I get the feeling that when this guy played Life he used two pink pegs and giggled the whole time.
And, what genius left Swi alone in the office? It’s probably covered in man juice by now!
Brian Goldner’s porn name is Fletch Arschbung.
Jackie Chan is a crime fighting cab driver in Chinese Checkers.
Am I doing this right?
Eibz, I wouldn’t say covered. I’d say coated
Not with a Stephen King reference your not. Boosh!
I’m already working on a movie version of Pictionary. Early reviews say things like “Is that the main character? He kinda looks like a pickle with hands” or “Tree farm! Tree farm! Tree farm!… is it tree farm? uhhh…ok… let’s see, it looks like a tree farm…”
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