Will Smith and his I Am Legend director Francis Lawrence are teaming up to produce a film about… a magician. See also: Man-Witch, Sorcerer’s Apprentice, Mandrake the Magician, Harry Potter, The Prestige, The Illusionist...
Written by Andrew Niccol, The City That Sailed follows a New York City street magician whose daughter, because of family circumstances, lives in England. In exploring a lighthouse one day, the girl discovers a room with magic candles and wishes to be reunited with her father, causing the island of Manhattan to break away and drift across the Pond. [THR]
I’m guessing those family circumstances involve “my dad’s a f-cking street magician.” But it looks like I was all wrong about this movie. It’s actually not a magician movie, it’s a kid-makes-wish-that-comes-true-in-order-to-repair-relationship-with-father movie. My gosh, I wonder why no one‘s ever thought of that before. Hold on, I think I have an idea for the next family comedy: a fetish porn star switches bodies with the family dog. Danny Masterson, Richard Karn, and Lana Wachowski star in Ruff Trade.
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Umm..Again. I’d rather do 12 Rounds of chemo than see that shit.
Welcome to EARF!
Nothing like destroying or otherwise inconveniencing tens of thousands of lives just so a little girl can feel like a princess, huh?
I’ve always wanted a Rock ‘N’ Jock B-Ball Jam jersey of the “The Bricklayers”.
So I could wear it when I brick on your Mom’s chest.
Of course, this move prompts northeastern Native Americans to gain a full new appreciation for $24 and a pile of beads.
The child then wishes for all children everywhere to be safer and Michael Jackson dies.
My Dad was a street magician.
He’d make lines of coke vanish in one long snort.
Roland Emmerich is working on a very similar script with a little boy who wishes he could go to the moon setting off a planet-ending catastrophe.
In…Upper West Hogwarts,
Born and raised,
With a gay white wizard
is where I spent most of my days.
Prestidigitating, turning friends to toadstools,
Being the first black wizard was pretty damn cool,
When a couple of Dementors who were up to no good,
Started doing black magic in my Hoggyhood.
I got in one little Quidditch match
and Snape got scared.
He said, “you’re moving back with your aunt and uncle
in Bel Air”.
The Pursuit of Magickyness
Great a movie filled with Black Magic.
In the adult version of this, Pauly is killed when his colon is found overstuffed with beer and drugs, prompting surviving characters to make a rule about wishing for an “assload” of anything in the future.
Awwwww Abracadabra naw!
By the time the studio has finished whoring out product placement rights in the movie, the magic candles will have been turned into a magic Glade Plugin.
Men in Black Capes
My dad was a street magician, too. He made himself disappear when I was 8.
I thought his best trick was making audiences disappear from Hancock.
I’d like to put this movie in a box and cut it in half.
The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled…was convincing the world that Will Smith could act.
My dad was a street magician too. He worked at Merlin’s Mufflers.
Ali Kazaam
What happened to the big tittied blonde? That looked legit.