07.03.09 WEEKEND PREVIEW: EXPLOSIONS & BOOZE
Opening this weekend:
Public Enemies
Johnny Depp reportedly stopped talking to Michael Mann on the set because of his “chaotic” directing style, and chaotic was more or less what I said of the finished product. I didn’t think it was very good, but I don’t want to bash it too hard, because say what you will, at least it’s a movie aimed at adults and not a toy commercial. So see it, so they keep making these “types” of movies, just don’t expect to know who’s shooting at whom or why.
Ice Age Dawn of the Dinosaurs
Oh yeah, this movie. Forgot about this one. I’m sure it’ll be a great movie to take the kids to, because in the trailer, a squirrel gets his chest waxed and tries to masturbate a buffalo, and it features dinosaurs during the ice age, which I’m sure won’t totally screw up their knowledge of history. It’s so hard to convince kids that the Earth is only 6,000 years old and dinosaurs were pets kept by Jesus these days.
I Hate Valentine’s Day
Yahoo says this movie is opening this weekend but I’m not sure in which cities, because on the distributor’s website, the links for release date are broken. Which I assume is because someone at IFC Films hates Nia Vardalos as much as I do. What is she even doing? Her idea of acting seems to be trying to look bitchy and surprised in every scene. And I will never, ever forgive the girl who made me sit through My Big Fat Greek Wedding.
NIA: “Then we eat lamb!”
JOHN CORBETT: “Mmm, with mint jelly?”
NIA: “Um… no.”
Get it???? He’s a wasp and she’s hilariously ethnic! Their cultural differences are a never-ending geyser of comedy!!
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/11/lost-chick-lipbite-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/11/bitchslap-3-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/11/wolfman-international-poste-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/11/jeffbridges-crazyheart-blak-150x150.jpg)
There are 166 comments about:
WEEKEND PREVIEW: EXPLOSIONS & BOOZE
I think it;s hilariously ethnic that I feel Snow is too hardcore for me.
I think it’s hilariously ethnic when I call people from Honduras “Mexicans” and then don’t understand what the big deal is.
I think it’s hilariously ethnic how my blood pressure spikes when a black man passes me on the street at night.
(or in the daytime)
I don’t not think it’s hilariously ethnic when I correct people’s usage of double negatives.
I think it’s hilariously ethnic when I defend my racist jokes by pointing out that I have a friend who is black.
I think it’s hilariously ethnic that I never get any of your black or Mexican jokes.
I think it’s hilariously ethnic when everyone at the beach asks me if I remembered to put sunscreen on.
Well, Jacktion, did you?
I’m inside. in front of a computer, Eib.
So… yes.
I think it’s hilariously ethnic when spending time with my uncle means hanging out in front of The Home Depot
I would still fuck Gemma Atkinson’s body…even with the eagle head…ok, especially with the eagle head
I think it’s hilariously ethnic that salespeople never follow me around a department store.
I think it’s hilariously ethnic that The Olive Garden is my favorite place to go for authentice Italian food.
I find it hilariously ethnic that I put an ‘e’ at the end of the word ‘authentic’
I think it’s hilariously ethnic that I have never even laid eyes on a food stamp.
I think it’s hilariously ethnic that I know who the father of my children is.
I think it’s hilariously ethnic that the same man fathered both of my children.
i think it’s hilariously ethnic
I think it’s hilariously ethnic that I just pulled my coat tightly around me now that a Mexican showed up.
I think it’s hilariously ethnic that Dub’s arrival reminded me that I need to get my lawn mowed.
i think it’s hilariously ethnic that i don’t know who MY father is
I think it’s hilariously ethnic that my choices for lunch right now as I walk out of the building are Chinese, Japanese, Thai, Szechuan, Vietnamese, Malaysian, sushi, or sashimi.
And I’m in an Italian neighbourhood.
i’m sorry Chino, did you pull your coat tightly around you because of me?
Did Vance take the rest of the afternoon off? Oh you guys have a celebration coming up, dontcha.
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