07.20.09 VOLTRON MOVIE PRODUCED BY… DICK SUCKLE?
A Voltron movie? Sure, why not. 
The producers behind “Get Smart”, “The International”, and “The Dark Knight” have acquired the rights to make a live-action feature, pushing the project forward after several years in development. “Wanted” producer Jason Netter and World Events’ Ted Koplar are joining the Atlas trio (Charles Roven, Richard Suckle* [!!??!] and Steve Alexander) in producing.
“Voltron,” features a “Transformers”-like conceit, in which a band of five robot-lions combine to form one super lion. Pilots control the lions, which are charged with defending the planet Arus from villain King Zarkon, who dispatches evil creatures called Robobeats to fight the Voltron robots.
Koplar compared it favorably to “Transformers, saying that “unlike other robotic action movies, ‘Voltron’ is the personification of the human spirit, a quality that will set this movie apart.” [THR]
That’s right, the human spirit, when personified, looks like a giant robot made of smaller, lion-shaped robots driven by human pilots. With a big sword. I think that was in the bible.
And here’s a FILMDRUNK EXCLUSIVE QUOTE from someone close to the project:
Obviously been reading on the interweb today about yeah yeah Voltron/Transformers rip off / cash-in. That’s all fine and fair as we’ve had our share of starts and stops like any 100mil+ movie. (You ever read Greatest Sci-Fi Movies Never Made? Heartbreaking stuff.)
But even the most jaded fan has to get a cinematic stiffy about us working with the producer behind Batman Begins and The Dark Knight and see a step in the right direction. C’mon, these guys produced 12 Fricken Monkeys and Three Kings as well. They know how to attach talent like Chris Nolan to f’d out genre stuff and boosh it out of the park [Ed. Note: This is incorrect usage of "boosh", but I appreciate the attempt]. This is no guarantee any of this will happen but hey, like many I sat there watching TF2 trying to get it up and thinking, “Wow this would be awesome if this was like… a good movie…” Just imagine someone like, I dunno, Children of Men director Alfonso Cuarón bringing it with Voltron. That’s the goal here. And no giant robot testicles I promise. At least we will save that for the Criterion Edition.
So there you have it. If this were Aintitcoolnews, this quote would’ve been accompanied by the headline: ALFONSO CAURON DIRECTING VOLTRON??!!??!!??
*I don’t know how I let this slip by me the first time, but… SOMEONE NAMED THEIR KID “DICK SUCKLE”?! …You honestly couldn’t do worse than that. Even “Cunnilingus Fellatio” at least sounds high brow.
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There are 23 comments about:
VOLTRON MOVIE PRODUCED BY… DICK SUCKLE?
I would always pretend I was the black or red one, cause let’s face it, no kid wants to be just an arm or a leg on the robot.
Apparently the new approach in Hollywood to fight illegal copying is to make only movies that no one would bother to copy in the first place. Actually kind of brilliant.
Alright, smartass. Would you prefer the giant Robot Lion be made up of smaller Robot Monkeys?
Wait a minute…
that plot synopsis sounds like something Tracy Morgan would tell you on the subway.
“Everybody get outta here…I got robobeats attacking my superlion and we can’t get back to planet Anus!”
*Steals pacifiers from three babies and a raver.*
Jesus was made of nanobots, sent back through space and time to save man from a lack of seafood.
It’s in the Apocrypha. The Book of Bay.
Speaking of rip-offs, does anyone else get a sense from the banner ads that Paper Heart is a rip off of “Life Goes On”?
Dick Suckle is obviously the most popular member of the Atlas Trio.
Serious/ Ironically the voice of Optimus Prime (Peter Cullen) does the Voltron opening narration.
Not Serious(Well kinda)/ I can’t wait to see that same repetitive way Voltron kills all his enemies on the big screen.
When Voltron is in Nashville he chews Skoaltron.
Giant Robot Lion is commanded by Robot Siegfried while Robot Roy recovers.
Dor sho gha! Looks like Voltron was about to release the secret 6th lion (Purple-Headed) on Goldilocks, there! FORM RAGING HARD-ON!
I really hope this doesn’t Double-Pits-To-Chesty the shark.
When you loose a fight to Voltron…they call it pussy-whipped.
By the look of those colors…Voltron was the first gay robot to come out.
I wish I had robot-lions for hands.
Just so I can say I’m getting some kind of pussy.
Giant Robot Lion can only be defeated by a Giant Robot Chair.
I just want to say that if I was a giant robot made of lions, and one of my arms was already a lion head…i wouldn’t carry a sword in the other. Two lion head arms? Yes please.
Sadly, RoboPanda is a pacifist and has no wish to fight RoboLion. Unless he fucks with the bamboo.
I know what you’re asking yourself. Why does Voltron have a mouth? And the answer is so he can go down on other gay robots silly. Jeeze. Don’t you guys know anything?
@SmokeEM- Uhmm…I meant 2 swords. Why would you want to Lion heads for Arms?…heh, right guys. Totally, two swords…and a chin strap beard…and uhh… a lion leg that doubled as a whiskey flask that fires roman candles.
If my arm is red, it’s usually cause I was preparing to give myself “The Stranger”.
Ugh…a Voltron movie?…please tell me you’re lion.
That’s Weird, because Cock Smokle is producing Transformers on Broadway…
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