07.08.09 THE GREATEST 2 SECOND PERFORMANCE EVER
Last week I posted the trailer for MXP: Most Xtreme Primate. As part of an ongoing effort to bring you more ape-related footage, I did some research and found out that it was actually a sequel to a little film called MVP: Most Vertical Primate, the trailer for which you see here (in German {actually Dutch, a thousand apologies}, because everything’s better in German, especially feces porn).
You may notice some fine reaction shot work from Home Improvement’s Al Borland, but I post this to recognize another perfomance: the guy air punching in the foreground between the 4 and 6 second mark. In two seconds he manages to steal the entire film. From an ape on a skateboard, no less. Do you know how hard it is to steal from a chimp? They have thumbs on their feet! I. Can’t. Stop. Rewinding. I can only dream of the capacity to be as happy about anything as he is about an ape scoring a goal in ice hockey. This man needs to be identified. He needs to be recognized. He needs to be given a prize. The director should buy his family a house like the Slumdog kids. FilmDrunkards, behold. I give you… THE FINEST TWO SECOND PERFORMANCE IN ALL OF CINEMA.
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/07/most-xtreme-primate-150x150.jpg)
There are 46 comments about:
THE GREATEST 2 SECOND PERFORMANCE EVER
I always wondered where Chris Pronger played his junior hockey.
You and my wife disagree on what, in fact, is the greated two-second performance ever, sir.
In anticipation of the prize, he flailed about and knocked down his own shack.
First person to reference the knucklepuck gets to go straight to hell.
I spaz out in public like that sometimes, just to see how uncomfortable I can make the people who are with me. Yeah, I fucking had to leave the house, huh? Take me to a crowded place again, I dare you.
Ummm, I have toes on my feet
This is a spit in the face to urban legend the Klu Klux Klan perpetuated about porch monkeys never being good at hockey.
No animated GIF FTW?
Banana Margera
I don’t think he was cheering so much as trying to figure out how the chimp stole his helmet.
The Blues are ready to offer him a seven-year, $45 million dollar contract with a no-trade clause. They want a defensive partner that Barret Jackman can get along with (and one that will pick all the lice out of his hair for him).
Is that Kool Aid Man’s wife, Omega Blu?
The producers of this movie deserve two minutes for a high-schtick.
My Sharks might be able to get out of the first round with that guy
I hate having to point this out, but he was spazzing out *before* the goal was scored :(
The Houston Gazette says “Its the PEAL good movie of the year”
The Dallas Star says “The skateboarding stunts drew OH OHs and AH AH AHs from the crowd”
The Philadelphia Examiner says “This movie filled in my missing link.”
Richard Karn, Home Improvement’s Al Borland has not managed his syndication money well.
Looks like that cop fell for the banana in the halfpipe.
The flailer, not the monkey
First person to reference the knucklepuck gets to go straight to hell.
I can still talk about the majesty of the Flying V, right?
If there isn’t a scene where the villain says “make a monkey out of me, will ya,” me and this film will be done professionally.
So if the puck bounces off his skate to another player, is it considered a hand pass? Reffing this little fucker would be tough.
@Oski
You know thats in there and some idiot saying “He gave me the slip boss.”
As long as Donk recognizes that his mom is the Most Horizontal Primate.
A quick synopsis of the movie:
Donald Timm, a heartless businessman has bought all the orphanages in the city, along with a minor league hockey team.
He plans to destroy the orphanages, excavate coal mines on the ground where they stood, and force the orphans (whom he now legally owns) to dig for coal.
Unless…
UNLESS…
… someone can beat his newly acquired team at hockey.
He releases a chemical weapon that gives every un-vaccinated hockey player within 100 miles crippling polio.
Donald Timm: “My team is unbeatable now!”
Richard Karn (with ape in tow): “I don’t think so, Timm”
Comment on this post:
You must be logged in to post a comment. Not yet a member, register for free.