07.31.09 THANK GOD, PIRATES 4 GOING FORWARD

Johnny Depp likes to drink his Captain Jack mixed with mascara and Tim Burton’s semen.

World War Yarrhh.

Somebody slap the dick out of Orlando Bloom’s mouth and tell him to get to work.

Does the studio get pissed if you make a pirated copy of one of these movies? You’d think they might appreciate the meta.

@Don–Burton has a bit of the Captain in him.

“Hey Johnny, how much of Pirates 3 can I watch without begging for death?”

“About a minute and forty seconds–flat!”

Burton jokingly refers to Johnny as Edward Speculumhands.

[while doing a dismissive wanking motion]

Yarr, look sharp you scurvy sea dogs or I’ll send you straight to Will Turner’s locker, I will… fuck, where’s me rum?

Only not jokingly. Not at all.

After seeing the topless shots of Orlando’s beautiful girlfriend, he’s gone up a notch in my estimation. He’s now at notch one.*

*that gag never gets old for me.

That’s the same thing about the ether-soaked rag I keep in the van, Charlie.

The same thing I say, I say.

Kimbo Slice can play Black Beard. Mainly because thats the first two things I notice about Kimbo whenever I see him.

more like BORElando bloom

so next year johnny will be both a rum drinking pirate and a rum drinking writer/reporter? unoriginial i say!

You soak your rags in ether? I should try that. My pheromone soaked rags just aren’t doing the trick. There’s pheromones in cum, isn’t there?

Whatever works, Charlie. “Ether or” I always say.

donk- we have similar courting styles

my line: it puts the ether soaked rag to its face or we’ll do it while you’re awake again

I should probably get a van too. The other passengers on the bus can get surly when you take up two seats.

No Keira Knightly and her wife Orlando Bloom = me adding to the box office take.