In an epic display of chutzpah (that’s Jew talk for lettin’ your nuts swing), the producers of Pledge This, who put Paris Hilton in their movie back in ’06, turned around and sued her for $8 million dollars, claiming she didn’t promote the film like she’d agreed to. She recently appeared in court, and it was every bit the sh-t show you’d imagine.
Hilton told the Florida district court that it was not her fault the film flopped. She said she spent two years promoting it before it was released, including two high-profile trips to the Cannes Film Festival.
If by promoting it you mean “collecting bags of free sh-t and posing for pictures,” then yeah, I’ll buy that argument.
Before giving evidence, Hilton, in a black dress and six-inch stilettos, gave a little wave to the judge. “I’ve never had a witness wave at me before,” chief district judge Federico Moreno said.
The socialite went on to say that she tried her best to promote the film. “If I have my name attached to something, I want it to be as big as it can be,” she said, adding: “It could have been a lot better if it was done more professionally. I wanted to do as well as possible.” She explained that at the time when she was being asked to promote the film for DVD sales, her schedule was full due to rehearsals for her next film, 2008′s The Hottie & The Nottie. Asked if that was a better movie, Hilton replied with a giggle: “It was really good”.
Mr Goldberg told the court that he pumped the final $600,000 (£370,000) from his receivership account into the completion of the film in the hope that Hilton’s star quality would reap rewards. He said her unwillingness to promote the movie after the premiere was the reason it lost money. “I said, ‘Just do one little thing and you’ll never hear from me again’. We had no support whatsoever,” he said. [Telegraph via Cinematical]
You thought hiring Paris Hilton would be a good business decision? Did you see her reality show? You know, the one whose entire premise was Paris getting hired to do stuff and then her not doing it? If this judge had any balls, his response would’ve been “Mr. Goldberg, what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.”

Good. It’s nice to hear a heart warming story of a crappy movie loosing a shit load of money for a change.
On a side note I had a horrible nightmare that I was having sex with Paris Hilton. Normally my dreams only include hundreds of people trying to kill me. But that one really freaked me out…
During his testimony, Brock Lesnar admitted Paris Hilton never promoted Bud light, then he flipped off the jury, and broke Paris Hilton’s nose.
President Obama will be awarding him a medal this afternoon. The Medal of Awesomeness in Misogyny.
If I have my name attached to something, I want it to be as big as it can be
Sometimes Paris gets the words “name” and “mouth” mixed up.
Asked if that was a better movie, Hilton replied with a giggle: “It was really good”.
If she was under oath, it goes without saying that she is now guilty of perjury.
I’m suing Paris for the $60 i wasted on that shitty porno she did. show some enthusiasm when you have a cock in your mouth, please?
“If this judge had any balls, his response would’ve been…”
You mean like this judge? http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0306061billy1.html
On the one hand, I want Paris Hilton to lose money directly and be shamed for having such a horrible work ethic (he posts unironically from his work desk). On the other hand, I want the judge to scare people away from hiring Paris Hilton by showing that you get what you pay for.
On the third hand, I know that Hollywood never learns any lessons and I want the lot of them eaten by bears.
Can’t we just sue Paris Hilton for being Paris Hilton? Seems reasonable to me.
the saddest thing is that if she came on to any man in the world, they would still hit that… why? seriously, what is this fantastic phenomenal power that she has. When are we as men, going to band together and put her out of her misery? There has to be a day. A Glah-ha-horious day where every man from ages 16 to 96 stands together and pledges, “No skank, I will not sleep with you, no matter how rich you are and how much attention I will get.” Now handjobs? Well I like handjobs…
So…The Mighty One watched S Darko (Donnie Darko “sequel”) this weekend.
The fuck?
BONG!!!!!!!!
I saw it too, Fek. I’m sorry for both of us.
I finally got around to watching The Hunt for Red October. That Sam Neill, I tell you what.
That’s so weird. I asked 2 people if they had seen it this weekend. Clearly I should have been here.
That bad huh?
Asking me to choose sides between Paris Hilton and the doofus who cast Paris Hilton is like making me take sides in a deathmatch between my mom and my sister. The only way I could be happy is if both of them died.
Oi, new up ya fo fok’n cunts.
I’m just sad that National Lampoons have to go as far back as animal house for a movie people will know.
And instead of having a big trial why not just sit down and watch the movie…Is it shit? yes, well then there is nothing any one could have done, Paris probably did you a favor by not promoting it.