07.15.09 TEEN CHARGED WITH DOING WHAT TYLER DURDEN WOULD DO
A couple months ago, a bomb blew out the window of a Starbucks on the Upper East Side in Manhattan. No one was injured, and it probably would’ve been pretty badass to watch. Now they’re saying the culprit was some kind of Fight Club copycat. A 10-years-too late copycat, apparently.
The explosion appears to have been modeled on a scene [a scene? did they blow up a Starbucks in Fight Club? I don't remember that part] from the 1999 film “Fight Club,” the New York Police Department said. The predawn Memorial Day blast, from an explosive device, damaged a sidewalk bench and shattered windows at the shop, but no one was injured.
The teenager, Kyle Shaw, 17, of 250 West 27th Street in the Chelsea section of Manhattan, charged with arson, criminal possession of a weapon and criminal mischief, Police Commissioner Raymond W. Kelly said.
Wait, you can print a 17-year-old’s name and address in the newspaper now?
Mr. Shaw was arrested near his home, and the authorities found on him a DVD of “Fight Club” and a box of sparklers as well as a newspaper clipping reporting on the Starbucks bombing. Mr. Shaw had bragged to friends that he was responsible for the bombing, police said, and had started an underground fight club modeled on the one in the 1999 film. “His statements indicated he was launching his own Project Mayhem,” police said. [NY Times]
Yeah? What tipped you off, the sparklers? See, this is why I’m glad I didn’t grow up in New York. I’m not saying planting bombs at Starbucks is okay, but what’s a kid supposed to do when he doesn’t have a bonfire to throw trashbags full of gasoline and aerosol cans into? Seriously, tell me, I’m from the country, I don’t know these things. (It also helps to keep a couple shotguns handy in case the aerosol cans don’t blow up right away. So I hear).
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/03/retardfightclub-150x150.jpg)
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TEEN CHARGED WITH DOING WHAT TYLER DURDEN WOULD DO
Agreed. Tell you what though, it’s a good thing he got charged with criminal mischief, that’ll give him street cred. He’ll need it in prison. I bet he’s got tha juice now.
Later, he’ll graduated to copying ‘Bottle Rocket’.
[walks up dressed as English bobbie]
Right! Enough orf this mischief! It’s far to silly! Sod of you ragamuffin!
That’s right, bitches. Future-past tense. You fags thought Marty McFly was the only person who could pull that shit off.
Crappy, I can forgive the “you’re” thing, but “to”? CORNER!
In all seriousness, I feel sorry for a kid who’s never fired off a spud gun.
What scene in Fight Club did Tyler and the gang play hackeesack? Was that on the extended version?
If this kid’s smart, when he’s in the detectives office, he’ll try to blackmail him and then start punching himself in the face.
You guys certainly have some unique ways to have fun. All I had was cow-tipping.
…fuck…
[grabs Pro Angler magazine and slinks off]
Cow-Tipping is what I do when I go to the Sasnak Bar&Grill. Also, free all-you-can-eat hotdogs!
A fucking Starbucks? Granted Starbucks was supposedly featured in every scene but, c’mon kids, start blowing up the fucking credit card companies.
*tosses another unopened demand letter in the brazier
Al, you can tip cows with a spud gun, just have to make sure you get one with a barrel bigger than 3.5″ (aboot 90mm for you Canuckistanis).
We had this one guy in high school that always played hackey sack. Usually by himself. If I was bored enough at lunch, me and some of the guys would play hackey with him.
That is, until the day he proclaims (out of nowhere), “I am allergic to penicillin! And…uh…yeah, it sucks because it is used to treat a lot of common venereal infections.”
(And you guys wonder why He is the way He is today…)
Hackey sack - is THAT what that kid is doing? I thought he was showing off his awesome and extremely manly Fight Club moves.
GSP don’t kick like that, Al…
Sparklers can actually be used to make bombs. All you need is a load of sparklers(with the metal shafts…the graphite ones dont work…im pretty sure thats why they started using graphite), a roll of duct tape and a lighter.
A friend of mine in highschool’s parents owned a wrecking yard. Every year on 4th of July we would blow up a wrecked car in a field away from civilization using sparkler bombs.
It was always glorious and the destruction was devastating.
Ohhh the boredom of the white trash teenager back in the day.
@ Al.
“First…first I kick my leg up like this. And I totally break the guys nose if he’s there. Then I hop on one foot like this…hey… wait, come back!”
Gee, thanks drexyl! NOW this article makes sense!
*carefully screws lightbulb into socket, wipes down room, tiptoes out of the building*
This never would have happened if the Doctress was still in charge.
Sparklers are bombs now, eh? I should have known. Sheesh, what CAN’T you make a bomb out of these days?
** looks sideways at unfortunate cat that just walked into the room **
Is it White Boy Day?
*Draws chalk flower on the ground, commences to hacky*
…this fight club sucks.
I actually have my own fight club. AKA my ’shut the fuck up’ stick.
I used to be called the StarBucks Palmer till I messed up an “order” and got reported. How was I supposed to know not to pull on the bitch’s Clik ring?
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