07.16.09 *THAT’S* SCARLETT JOHANSSON?
Entertainment Weekly has an Iron Man 2 cover story this month, and features the first pictures of Scarlett Johansson as Black Widow. It barely looks like her. Which is probably a good thing, since normally she looks less “action hero” than “girl who smokes a lot.” You’ll also notice she has red hair, because all chicks in superhero movies have to have red hair for some reason. That’s why when I have sex with redheads I like to shout “I’m a superhero!” at the point of orgasm*. Also, instead of fully undressing, I like to put my penis through the hole in the front of my Spider-Man underpants. Chicks love it. Ask around.
[via Cinematical]
*I meant my orgasms, of course. Everyone knows women don’t have orgasms.
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/11/ben_stiller_robert_downey_j-150x150.jpg)
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There are 32 comments about:
*THAT’S* SCARLETT JOHANSSON?
This has been bad casting from the start. Black Widow is very sultry and exotic; Scarlett, bless her heart, is a well-proportioned bland cow.
BTW, that’s got to be by far the worst head job Downey has gotten since prison.
And by head job I mean the photoshop that EW did there (what did you think I meant? Perverts.)
When I look at that right banner and think, On your Mark, I fap.
I got the Mick ups!
She can duck all she wants, I can still shoot her with my crossbow.
I love that Rourke is basically doing the same pose as her on the cover. And he’s actually more attractive whilst doing it.
Redheads are fiery and bold, blondes are sexy and ditzy and brunettes are the intelligent ones. That’s it. Fact.
You forgot the gray ones, in my experience they’re usually grateful.
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