07.16.09 ROBERT DOWNEY AS SHERLOCK, HOLMES
The new international trailer for Guy Ritchie’s Sherlock Holmes has just hit the web. New Holmes apparently isn’t as much for book larnin’ as old Holmes, and spends most of his time diving out of buildings, boxing, dodging explosions, hammer fighting, and practicing bartitsu, which isn’t nearly as drunk or sexy as it sounds. In fact, the new trailer is almost identical to the domestic one I posted a few months ago, the only difference I can see being that the old one ends with Holmes handcuffed naked to a bed, while the new one ends with Jude Law punching him in the face. And as we all know, every time a guy gets handcuffed naked to a bed and punched in the face, David Carradine’s angel gets its wings. And then the ninjas come.
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There are 61 comments about:
ROBERT DOWNEY AS SHERLOCK, HOLMES
Could Jude Law look any gayer?
No, he could not.
Hammer fighting is tough. You can’t touch him.
Could RDJ look any more like a limp-wristed dandy?
Needs more Mickey Rourke and parrot.
The basic tenet of bartitsu is punching the other guy in the neck while he tries to figure out what exactly you just threatened him with.
This is ain’t your grand daddys Sherlock Holmes
Damn, where is everyone today?
I’m still here, El Guapo.
Isn’t bartitsu the dude who makes my lattes?
Haha, I love you Donkey.
I practice ‘Titty-bar-jitsu’ it basically envolves fighting with skanks when you run out of money and try and grab ass for free.
If Holmes was handcuffed naked to a bed, Jude Law wouldn’t be punching him in the face. He’d be banging his nanny.
So…uhh…anybody want to hear about my newest fighting style? I put on a bunch of oversized foam rubber spiked gear and rock people’s fucking faces right off. I call it Gwartitsu.
I’m so glad Burma changed its name. Myanmartitsu just sounds better.
If your bartitsu wounds don’t heal properly after fighting, you will have a lot of scartitsu.
On a completly unrelated note I changed channel and The Lost Boys is on and I am laughing like a mong because Sweaty Sax guy is on.
Little sister - Thou shall not fall
Come to your brother - Thou shall not die
Unchain me, sister - Thou shall not fear
Love is with your brother - Thou shall not kill
So RDJ is playing a debonair but eccentric rich guy who fights crime? Alternate Title: Bronze Man.
RDJ must have been delighted to read a script that called for him to inject heroin while bored and screw whores…
After Guy Ritchie’s Sherlock Holmes and Kenneth Branagh’s Thor come out, I’d like the two of them to switch projects and re-make each other’s movies.
@ Bryce Tatou did a mivie called chocolat a few years back but it was about some bi-curious socialite going to Cameroon to get AIDS or something.
OK, what’s this post about?
Is “Jude Law punching him in the face” a euphemism? If so I’m leaving work early so I can watch that shit.
Ahhh, too many Chocolat movies… thought I was having a stroke or something there :-P
I’d like to R & D a J.
Well sirs; you’re sposed to cut up the product much finer than the Blow Fly sized chunks you have in here. This thing is running like John Wayne Gacy to a ‘free boy pussy fire sale. Did the paper get torn by a stem or did your rook ass try for a carb or some horse shit.
In short, Fail. [tokes]
Wait, as previously established a stroke smiley would be :-p.
So, yeah I was thinking…a hobo sex party would probably involve a lot of in-tents fucking.
At a hobo sex party, dipping your balls into somebody’s mouth is called bindle-bagging.
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