
When it was announced yesterday that sexy firecrotch Rachelle Lefevre was being replaced by more-famous firecrotch Bryce Dallas Howard as Victoria in Eclipse, the next Twilight movie, I was quick call BS on the studio’s official reason of “scheduling conflict”. Given a choice, an up-and-comer like Lefevre would probably pick a big franchise like Twilight over an indie, right? Which would lead one to believe she wasn’t given a choice, as she seems to confirm in her recently-released statement:
“I was stunned by Summit’s decision to recast the role. I was fully committed to the ‘Twilight’ saga. I turned down several other film opportunities and, in accordance with my contractual rights, accepted only roles that would involve very short shooting schedules. My commitment to ‘Barney’s Version’ is only ten days. Summit picked up my option for ‘Eclipse.’ Although the production schedule for ‘Eclipse’ is over three months long, Summit said they had a conflict during those ten days and would not accommodate me. Given the length of filming for ‘Eclipse,’ never did I fathom I would lose the role over a 10 day overlap. I was happy with my contract with Summit and was fully prepared to continue to honor it. Summit chose simply to recast the part. [via MTV Movies Blog]
Reached for comment, Terrence Howard offered, “Say, man, I know all about gettin’ replaced in a part, ya dig? But when the world’s got you down and the glaciers cry, I try to remember that life is a go-kart race, not a song you sing with your grandma, man. Here, check out this poem I wrote about how it feels to lose an acting job. It doesn’t have words, only bongo drums. Here it go…”




There’s only one way to solve this, Lefevre and Howard have to have a ginger-off.
*Snaps fingers in a circle*
I saw Barney’s Version on Warming Glow the other day. This bitch chose poorly.
As long as someone doesn’t piss of Old Greg then everything’s cool. you must love him exactly as he loves you, or you might be dealt with the same way he dealt with Curly Jefferson.
This would never have happened if she had just agreed to wash Michael Bay’s Ferrari.
The good news is that now she stands a much lower chance of being stabbed in the heart by a Twilight fan who can’t tell fantasy from reality.
Gingers make good vampires. They don’t need as much makeup.
You know what they always say, it’s better to be pissed off than to play a supporting role in a shitty vampire movie.
I thought it was inappropriate how the producers put Rachelle in front of the rest of the cast, used a red marker to circle her fatty areas and chanted, “BIG RED! BIG RED! BIG RED!” Girls can be so cruel.
If you rub two firecrotches together, would you get a burning bush?
Meanwhile, Debra Lefevre has been recast as “Hottest teacher I have decent chance of banging.”
Old Victoria wears a corset and says things like “you’ll rue the day.”
Old Victoria wears a powdered wig and let me tell you, the carpet’s as dusty as the drapes. *wink wink*
Her box has a big red button.
I hope this turns out better than when my wife lost her job to someone more attractive than her. The bitch keyed my car.