07.28.09 PRINCE OF PERSIA: WE’RE ON A HORSE, MOTHERF-
Empire recently posted some new publicity shots from Jerry Bruckheimer’s Prince of Persia movie, starring Jake Gyllenhaal, Gemma Arterton, and Ben Kingsley. I never played the video game, but based on these pictures I assume the object was to try to cultivate flowing sex hair (except for poor Special K who has to compensate with eyeliner). Heck, I’d even bang the horse. This looks like it’s going to be for Jake Gyllenhaal what Troy was for Brad Pitt, and everyone’s talking about how buff he got for the role. But whatever, put this pussy in the ring with me. I promise I’ll submit him in 30 seconds. With a c*ck choke! OOH WHA-AA AA-AAH!
Hey– who let Jerry O’Bruckheimer into the girl’s locker room? He looks like the emo-est leprechaun. So they think they kin take me lucky charms, do they? We’ll see who has the last laugh once me orthopedic shoes correct me club foot. Until then, I’ll smoke me cloves ‘n take meaninful photographs.
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/09/gemma-arterton2-150x150.jpg)
There are 17 comments about:
PRINCE OF PERSIA: WE’RE ON A HORSE, MOTHERF-
Alternate title: Queer for my Horses
Dursting on the first comment? Now, that’s talent!
I’ll never be your Prince of Persia
My back is broad, but its a-hurtin’
when this hits the dvd stand will be called afkap of persia
Jake’s contract included an “all the testicles* you can suck” bonus.
He neglected to read the fine print.
*sheep’s
pauly, is that a jake gyllenhaal and oates song?
Gemma: “Hey Jake, when we finish shooting, I’ll let you ride my magic carpet!”
Jake (smiling politely): “No, thanks.”
Gemma: “I mean … I’ll give you the password to my secret cave!”
Jake: “No, it’s okay. Thanks.”
Gemma: “Oh, okay. I understand. You must be missing Reese a lot.”
Jake: “Rhys? Who’s he?”
Is that a saddle? I thought he preferred bareback?
Growing up the siblings were referred to as Maggie and Faggie.
He so blew that horse.
The “radio hit” from the soundtrack will be a Flock Of Seagulls cover.
(shout-out to ma oldeez, yall)
Are those hair extensions, or is he wearing his Persian rug?
If it’s the Prince of Persia, shouldn’t he be saying ‘look at me, I’m on a goat!’
More like the Prince of Purses Ja? Look at zem, zey are so fabulous.
I don’t know what to say…it’s just super duper rude to overflow someone’s toilet and try to sneak out with the maid. Not cool man…NOT COOL.
Horseback is not the preferred method of escape when the angry mob doesn’t like the Tmobile plan your bitch just offered them.
Who’s on my horse?
Nobody rides the Fucking Motherfucker’s horse but Fucking Motherfucker.
(Yeah, that’s not too funny, but it’s been a long time between posts for me. Cut some slack, man. Jeez.)
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