07.01.09 PAULA ABDUL SAT ON A MEXICAN
NY Mag recently obtained some production notes from Brüno, which for once are actually interesting (production notes are usually just a collection of the cast and crew’s embarrassing, sycophantic praise for each other, like a daisy chain in print form). You can check them all out over there (and some are spoilery), but this is undisputed highlight:
According to whoever wrote the production notes, it was “stunningly easy” to get both Paula Abdul and LaToya Jackson to use Mexican gardeners (who were really actors) as chairs, despite Abdul’s claims to the contrary. “Both were very game,” allegedly.
Of course they were. I try to avoid American Idol as much as humanly possible, but every time I hear Paula Abdul talk she sounds like Kirk Douglas on a whippet binge, which is generally a good indication that a person’s taking a stiff cocktail of reality-avoidance pills (not that there’s anything wrong with that). Bottom line, if you can’t feel your face, you’re probably not going to feel a Mexican’s shame. Poor guy. Sources say he was so embarrassed that he told Abdul, “Ju can seet right here long as ju want, chica,” while pointing at his crotch and making kissing sounds. True story.
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There are 33 comments about:
PAULA ABDUL SAT ON A MEXICAN
Who cares? The Mighty Feklahr stacks Mexicans 2.5 metres high and uses them for sandbags!
Kirk Douglas on a whippet binge sounds like Paula Abdul.
Jackie Chan on a whippet binge sounds like Michael Vick’s back yard.
Let me clean a place for you to sit…
*rubs face clean*
Let Him pull out your chair, madame!
*unbuckles belt*
I can’t speak for the men here, but this Mexican here is a gentleman.
I always push in a lady’s stool.
Pauly is my MC Scat Kat.
May He take your coat?
*stands behind her with a garrote*
Care for the house “screaming bloody murder”?
*grabs machete*
Turns out it was a fat Mexican.
She was sitting on a beaner bag chair.
Would you like your spleen pan-seared?
*grabs teflon coated flame-thrower*
DOR SHO GHA! How do you get a grip on this thing???
She said she prefers to sit on La-Z-Boys, but they couldn’t find a Puerto Rican anywhere.
Do you mind if He wears what is left of your skin?
*puts on butt-cheek yarmulke*
He was a member of HAZ. She always loved rocking chairs.
*winks at Fek*
This would be better if The Mexican was still a pistol.
You know what they say….
“Sit on a Mexican, you’ll be begging him for sex again.”
*leans forward to give Donk the reacharound*
What? YOU FUCKING WINKED!
I guess that would make David Carradine a hammock.
Soooo, if this is wrong, why does no one say anything to me at El Toro?
You know what they say…
“Sit on a spic, you’ll eventually feel his erection.”
Mexicans sit on Mexcians all the time when they get smuggled into the U.S.
What you can’t see is that she’s using a Turk as an ottoman.
Sitting on a Mexican is the new whoopee cushion.
That is obviously the Turk’s business Chino, not yours.
Contortionists make for great folding chairs.
Paula Abdul keeps R Kelley at home for a bidet.
Paula uses Jamaicans as high chairs.
HA! Turk for an ottoman!
She would use Chinese but how the fuck can you stay upright on a chair with a slant?
Erswi-what kind of feuaxg knows that much about Ottomans?
I use midgets as throw pillows.
I wear Chodin like a Snuggie.
I had an Abdul with Ryan Reynolds once back in college. Phi Mu declared me the winner and he was devasted. It’s why he concentrates on them so much now that he’s famous. Fuck you Ryan Reynolds. I’ll have my 15 minutes soon.
The Mexican wore a wrestling mask the whole time. He was a Luchairdor.
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