07.13.09 DAILY CIRCLE JERK: PANIC BEAR EDITION

Hrm, let’s see. Zach Galifianakis, Bradley Cooper, and Ed Helms… or Ashton Kutcher?

Hangover wins by a mile.

I was once in a Mexican Hot Dog Standoff where some lady tried to short-cut me in line just because I was on my phone. I had to show the pinche puta who “El Jefe” was.

I had to turn that scare-bear clip off after 20 seconds, due to its distressing nature.

Don’t those idiots know that stress makes the meat tougher?

Hallway carpet + stinky garbage water = enraged screaming.

It’s the new formula for fun!

stinky garbage water + illegal “immigrant” lost in desert = refreshing beverage.

Perspective GWLLaD, perspective.

Of course after they finish the stinky garbage water you have to open a bottle of Evian take a sip pour the rest out on the ground and tell them to get their asses back to Mexico pronto.

How about…

Garbage bin + illegal immigrant = mobile home?

Garbage bin + illegal immigrant = home.

illegal immigrant + garbage bin chained to back of Pickup = mobile home.

After dishonouring his family, the young bear committed hairy-kiri.

Garbage bin chained to back of pickup + stinky garbage water + bumpy road = jacuzzi.

Japanese second amendment: the right to harm bears.

Vince! this is korean, not japanese.

who cares they all look the same amirite? AMIRITE???

After dishonouring his family, the young bear committed hairy-kiri.

What a grizzly way to die.

What a grizzly way to die.

It was a real Kodiak moment, though.

.

.

Bong?

Who in their right mind would want a t-shirt gun?

When you can have a wet t-shirt gun!

*PARTY HOWL*

Baby Goose would like a tux t-shirt gun, but would never point it at anybody. He’d keep it safely locked up in his hope chest.

After dishonouring his family, the young bear committed hairy-kiri.

The shame was un-bear-able.

So The Hangover should have been called “Dude, Where’s My Dude!”?

Hey, that’s the title of this porn I….never…rented.

Ever.

After dishonouring his family, the young bear committed hairy-kiri.

I don’t know what the fuck you guys are joking about. That really is a horrible way to die.

*bites into a honey flavored bear claw pastry*

…Constipated?

There’s a crap for that.

I should’ve suspected that the video wasn’t Japanese, since it lacks robots. And general insanity.

…Grind dance for 10 bucks?

There’s a lap for that.

…Lost?

There’s a map for that?

…Beer Keg?

There’s a tap for that.

…Assaulting an officer?

There’s a zap for that.

And possibly a “cap” for that if you’re black.

…TKE4LIFE hollering at your boy?

There’s a dap for that.

…Dirty vagina?

There’s a pap for that.

…Have you ever met a girl that you tried to date, but a year to make love she wanted you to wait?

There’s a rap for that.

After dishonouring his family, the young bear committed hairy-kiri..

…Need to catch a bear?

There’s a trap for that.

…Sexman’s tooth?

There’s a gap for that.

Late-Night Posting?

There’s a :{ for that.

Baby Goose watched the Panic Bear video and a single tear ran down his cheek. It was beautiful.