This is the trailer for The Other Man, starring Liam Neeson, Antonio Banderas, and Laura Linney. It looks like pretty much like Taken, but instead of kidnapping, Liam’s wife runs off to bang a Latin dude. And he’s probably hard up for it because Melanie Griffith looks like Jigsaw from Saw these days. Anyway, so then Liam tracks them down - I will find you. And I will kill you. Maybe. First, we will play chess. (*RECORD SCRATCH*) Metaphor!
I hate that Funny People is 25 minutes too long, because it does a couple of amazing things. From his album They’re All Gonna Laugh at You through a few years after Happy Gilmore, Adam Sandler was a comedy God. I laughed so hard the first time I heard “The Buffoon and the Dean of Admissions” that I farted placenta. But at some point around ‘97, he seems to have decided he didn’t give a sh*t anymore and started doing a string of increasingly sappy, unfunny paycheck abortions like Click and I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry. The only glimmers of talent came in dramatic roles like Spanglish and Punch Drunk Love, in which he proved he could act, but didn’t really seem like himself, like he was just trying to prove a point.
Funny People not only reminds us what Sandler looks like when he’s doing honest comedy — and by that I mean comedy that he himself finds funny rather than “You want me to do a silly voice again? Fine, I’ll do the a voice again. Lap it up, you pigs.” — but combines it with the Sandler who can act. Not only that, the story is the kind of pointed, meta-fictional take on his life that JCVD could’ve been for Van Damme if it hadn’t devolved into such a pretentious euro wankfest. I hate to be a reactionary, but while I was writing this I noticed other people calling Funny People Entourage with Cancer, and I felt compelled to point out all the differences between this and Entourage.
1. Decent writing
2. Decent acting
3. Conflict
4. Likable characters
5. The celebrity character in Funny People is famous for having an actual skill
6. The minor characters are trying perfect an actual skill, and aren’t driven by the sole desire to be famous, or to hang out with famous people, or to help the main character get more famous
7. No one talks about shoes or cars, not even once
Jerry Bruckheimer has decided on a new project, which I assume he does blindfolded, by reaching into an enormous jackolantern filled with dildos, that say things like “aliens”, “talking animals”, and “elite special forces unit” on them.
The producer has snapped up feature rights to the [48-page] graphic novel “World War Robot” from IDW Publishing. Story, penned by Ashley Wood [who also wrote Zombies vs. Robots] and recounted in war-diary form by participants on both sides, centers on a small band of humans and robots facing off in a battle on Earth, the moon and Mars. [Variety]
WORLD. WAR. ROBOT. You’ve outdone yourself this time, o’ great dildo pumpkin.
Well this is big news. It’s been rumored for a while that Fox wanted to do an Alien remake with Ridley Scott producing. But today Variety reports that the plan is actually for a prequel, and Ridley Scott will direct. To put that in perspective, it’s basically like if Robert Plant agreed to sing for a Led Zeppelin cover band. Somehow Ridley Scott went from being the guy who turned down both Alien sequels to the guy who’ll make prequels, movies about Monopoly - whatever studio execs want. (*whispers*) I think he might be a replicant.
The film will be a direct prequel to Scott’s original 1979 film. This leads me to believe that the film will tell the story of the crew of the empty ship that is discovered in the first film. In a 2002 interview, Scott wanted to return “to where the alien creatures were first found and explain how they were created.” [/Film]
You know what are super cool? Sharks. You know what’s not that interesting? The story of how sharks were created. Jesus made the aliens, just like he designed Kirk Cameron’s banana and was the original sharkitecht behind shark week. Origin stories are stupid.
Empire magazine has a feature on James Cameron’s Avatar this month, including this new picture of him on the set with a giant gun. I mean, I guess it’s a big gun. Whatever. I’ve seen bigger.
“It’s a movie about bullies,” Avatar star Sam Worthington told us on set. “The humans have come to tear into the Na’vi planet and strip-mine it. We’re telling a story that’s relevant now. It’s filled wtih typical James Cameron messages, especially technology overrunning us all, which is what nearly all his movies are about.
Yeah, but what’s James Cameron shooting at? I think I might have an idea:
You are currently browsing the archives for July, 2009.
