(Looks like someone was really excited to meet Hillary Clinton)
Yeah, so Marvel is making Thor. Kenneth Branagh is directing. Chris Hemsworth is the lead. And now Natalie Portman has been tapped (hee hee!) as the female lead. Yay, Norse Gods of Thunder looove cerebral New York hipster chicks!
Natalie Portman is starring as Jane Foster, the Thunder God’s love interest. In the original comics the character was a nurse who worked for Dr. Donald Blake, a regular old cripple who sometimes turned into Thor. [CHUD]
[From Marvel’s press release] Marvel Studios expands its film universe with a new type of superhero: THOR. This epic adventure spans the Marvel Universe; from present day Earth to the realm of Asgard. At the center of the story is The Mighty Thor, a powerful but arrogant warrior whose reckless actions reignite an ancient war. Thor is cast down to Earth and forced to live among humans as punishment. Once here, Thor learns what it takes to be a true hero when the most dangerous villain of his world sends the darkest forces of Asgard to invade Earth.
Huh, sounds kinda like the Bible, or Transformers. Meanwhile Kenneth Branagh previously directed As You Like It, Hamlet, and Much Ado About Nothing, and if Natalie Portman doesn’t mention Shakespeare during the press tour I’ll eat my own sh-t.
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Sounds kinda like the plot to Anchorman, if you ask me.
I’m familiar with this story. It’s called The “Viking Voyager” and it’ll get you wet, and none of your friends will show up.
Coprophagia FTW!
Holy fuck! There are Vietnam vets strung out on meth that have blinked more recently than Hilary! CREEPY!
Fuck, Nom. I’d drop that in the CoTW thread if anybody else got it.
Lince meant to say he’ll eat his own shit AFTER he huffs it!
FULL JENKEM BALLOON! :D
It’s okay donk. Nobody gets anything from me. That’s how I like it.
Donk, I guessed it based on what nom said. Google confirmed (I have no life).
Google confirms inside jokes now?
Fuck, I don’t think I’m cool with the internet anymore.
I don’t know what protrudes more, Hillary’s eyes or Natalie’s nipples.
BTW, I really don’t know what to say about this movie. As a comic, Thor sucks some pretty shitty ass. What I was never able to understand is how Marvel could make the mythology surrounding the god characters so dull and shallow.
The only even remotely interesting take I have seen on Odin/Thor/Loki was in Vertigo’s Sandman, and even at that Thor was still a big fucking useless dunce.
Tit bit nipply in that room…
Inside joke? Isn’t it outside?
Speaking of which, I’ll let myself out.
What the banner pic doesn’t show you is that Hillary’s dick is erect.
When i put on my bicycle shorts, I’ve left the modern world for the realm of Ass-gard
Its ok, I’ll be in the corner
Why does Hillary have a Band-Aid for black people stuck to her jacket?
Photo taken 2.37 seconds after Natalie told Hillary that yes, she too, had taken Bill’s dick inside of her.
Even Loki would looky at those fun bags.
I’m just so happy that Hillary thought she was breaking down the stereotypical walls defining what women can do, and in the end, she winds up being a secretary.
Looking at the banner pic is like doing long division for my junk.
Bra…nagh
That’s what Natalie said when she got ready to go to this photo shoot.
Jeeeesus fucking a duck! You just know Nats is knuckle deep in Hill’s mudhole. Look at it! LOOK AT IIIIT!!
I have the Natalie as Queen Amidala Real Doll. The make up always rubs off around my junk and makes it look like I got mouth raped by Roland McDonald.
Whatever you do, do not look to the left while you jack it….do not look to the left while you jack it…do not look to the OH!…OHHH!
If anyone needs me, I’ll be jumping off the Walt Whitman bridge.
Moby looked at this picture and got his first erection in 3 years.
I’d rather see a comic book author interpret Shakespeare. Hamlet would be way more awesome if the characters had laser beam eyes and metal claws.
And if we’re going to get a movie with Norse mythology, why can’t it be American Gods? Best use of Norse mythology ever.
Hillary’s nipples are just as hard, you just can’t see them because they are pointing at her comfortable shoes.
Natalie Portman hasn’t been hot since her supple ass was in The Professional.
I kind of hope Chris Hemsworth has a lisp and his pick up line is, “I’m going to fuck you until I’m thore/Thor.”
[Reads Patty's ref to Gaiman's book, looks at awesome Pushing Daisies avi for 1000th time]
Marry me?
When shown this photo, Bill offered Natalie a cigar.
I’m saving myself for Ryan Reynolds.
But I’m glad someone else appreciates Pushing Daisies! Stupid ABC.
When shown this photo, I did the “fire starter” on my dick for like, 30, 40 seconds.
But how will this compare to I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell?
[Writes Ryan Reynolds on "Kill soon;" list]
I understand.
Re PD: I think it went down like this;
Hey ABC bossman! Did you know that we have a creative, subversively funny, endearing, critically acclaimed, refreshingly non sterotypical intelligence insulting pile of drivel series that’s doing good in the ratings?
ABC bossman: Fuck that shit! Cancel it immediately and run a repeat of Deal or No Deal!
Lince, if we don’t get a new post soon, He is going to spam ur site wif gamr talk and tell fnniez story bout suprise dorf lolwhut!
Natalie’s nipples seem to follow me wherever I go. It’s uncanny. Or would that be canny??
Leon looks at banner pic…
“This is for…Matilda”
*opens coat, SCHWING!!!*
Hillary = Natalie + Sara Lee
Natalie has just shown Hilary her magical Portmanteau.
That’s the face you make when you are using every ounce of strength to not look at a girl’s hard nips.
“During our meeting on childhood literacy rates in America Natalie brought up two excellent points” Secretary Clinton said…
That’s more bewbs than she showed in Closer.
Valhalla, I am coming.
“forced to live among humans as punishment”
That’s also how the gods punished Gerald Posner.
Gerald Posner used to be a god?
So that explains Easter Island.
Too true, Robo. Also, the tides are produced by the pull of gravity from Gerald Posner’s face.
Not sure how I made the leap from Nipportman to Posner, but clearly I am unwell.
MaxUnwellDemon?
I can’t wait to buy the toy for this one!
Natalie Portman appearing in ‘Thor’? How Coincidental. She’s also making an appearance in my book, ‘Things That Give Me A Boner’.
*Late at Night*
Karucakoo! Good. Everybody’s gone. (Unzips pants, uses Thumb Trick) One of these days I’m going to beat my addiction to PantSuits. Until then… (Masturbates Furiously)