(Uh, we’re here for the gangbang?)
THR today reports that Mike Fleiss, the reality TV producer behind such shows as There Goes the Neighborhood and More to Love (yes, it’s The Bachelor for chubby chasers) is starting a production company (Next Films) and moving into films. His first project? A Black Sabbath movie. But don’t start headbanging just yet…
The outfit already is developing several projects, including “Black Sabbath,” a horror movie franchise. Next has signed a deal with guitarist-songwriter Tony Iommi — a founding member of the British heavy metal band — for the films, which won’t be about the group but will use the title as a jumping-off point. Iommi also will score the movies. (Iommi has sole ownership of the Black Sabbath name, but that is being challenged by former frontman Ozzy Osbourne, who filed a suit in May seeking a 50% stake in the Black Sabbath trademark.)
So basically, they just thought “Black Sabbath” would be a great name for a horror movie. And now all they have to do is write it. Why hasn’t anyone thought of this before? How much better would the Final Destination movies be if they were called Megadeth, or Saw if it was called Slayer? And every zombie movie could be called Cannibal Corpse. This dipsh*t is a genius.

Just don’t start calling The Dark Knight “Insane Clown Posse”.
If you made a film about a kleptomaniac who becomes undead, you’d have to call it Rob Zombie.
I can’t believe they tried to make a movie out of the song “Iron Man.” Unoriginal Hollywood bastards . . .
The not-yet-announced story of David Carradine’s death could be called “Slipknot”.
So I Am Sam would be called Nickleback if I’m following this correctly.
The Devil Wears Prada = Iron Maiden.
Diary of a Mad Black Woman = Twisted Sister.
Rain Man = System of a Down.
The guy on the right- his moustache follows me no matter where I move around my cube.
Syndrome of a Down
Syndrome of a Down would be ‘The Incredibles’
I don’t know Donk. I think David Carradine’s death story would be called Die Hard.
Silence of the Lambs= Necrophagist
Apt Pupil = Queens Reich
The new Scorcese/DiCrappio pic could be called The Lonely Island. But. . . you guessed it. Only if at some point Leo is On A Boat!
Boyz in the Hood = The Darkness
The Passion of the Christ = April Wine
Oh right… that’s not metal
The Lost World= Dinosaur Jr.
Cars = Motörhead
Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo = AC/DC
Cold Mountain = Damn Yankees
Heidi = Krokus (because they’re Swiss and look like girls?)
/sits in time out
I once distributed one of my homemade rape flicks under the title “Bang Tango” but that Kyle Kyle dude is a cockblocker.
Doubt = Judas Priest?
Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan = Foriegner
Wait, does this mean the John Hughes has to rename Pretty In Pink?
You guys didn’t wake me up for this?
Any Nic Cage film = Tool
The Silence of the Lambs = Slaughter
Cinderella = Cinderella
Transformers = (optimus) Primus
what?
Chino, I tried to wake you but you looked so peaceful. Sorry about the gooey mess on the pillow, BTK.
the passion of the christ = testament
the scorpion king = scorpion
machete = the ramones
that last one is funny(er) if you know that danny trejo looks exactly like Don Ramon from El Chavo.
Frankie goes to Hollywood Relax = Any Chick flick you get stuck at
children of men = the offspring
spice world = the deftones
groundhog day = every time i die
[en.wikipedia.org]