07.09.09 MALIN AKERMAN HAS COME A LONG WAY

SPOILER ALERT: the dog dies after teaching them both a valuable lesson about life… also, after running out into the street.

Birthday Dog wisely turned down this part.

The first record scratch actually happens at 1:43. A second one arrives at 2:10.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to pour bleach in my eyes and down my throat.

That dog was phooshopped out of Michelle Owen’s home movies.

Ok, which one of you gooks took my ‘t’?

Um, ok. So in the still shot of the preview, I’m looking at the dog’s hind leg. The tail is up, the right leg is standing there… so what is that where the left leg could be except that it doesn’t look like a leg?

I preferred the pre-production title, “That creep I was dating raped my dog.”

A love story about a man, a woman, and the dog that comes between them

I think they call that the Wooffel Tower.

It’s nice to finally know where Stoney copped that whole *points at crotch* bit…

Must Love Dogs II: Peanut Butter Boogaloo

I went to a heavy petting zoo once. Those sheep were SLUT-TEE.

I like how the poster has the words “Heavy Petting” written in a bunch of dog dicks.

Genius.

The sequel, ‘Go Felch!’ is about the newlywed couple’s struggles with intimacy.

Donk, wait until you go to a 2-way heavy petting zoo.

This movie makes Gene Siskel roll over (in his grave).

This movie makes Michael J. Fox sit and shake.

Wait, is that the movie poster…for real?

This movie makes Heath Ledger play dead.

This movie makes me jack off. With my penis. His name is Penis Leery.

This movie makes Heath Ledger play dead.

You just stole my Ed McMahon/Michael Jackson/Farrah Fawcett/Karl Malden/Steve McNair/Andy Dick line!

/Give it time.

I can always tell when my wife isn’t in the mood when she puts the dogs between us in bed. Also, she places a can of pepper spray on her nightstand and gives me the stink-eye.

I’ve come a long way as well. Upon seeing this chick Carla Gugino in the Silk Spectre costume being brutally raped and beaten being brutally beaten and raped I came across the fucking room and hit the other wall.

* In a closet. A pretty small one.

** NOT FOR THAT REASON!! Fags.

Donk how many times have a told you? When she gives you the stink eye . . . PUT IT IN (her ass)!!

Erswi, have you ever had your dick pepper-sprayed?

I imagine their relationship went off the tracks when the dude started letting the dog lick his balls because she wouldn’t. It’s her own fucking fault, really.