KUNG FU CYBORG!!!
07.27.09This is the trailer for Jeffrey Lau’s Kung Fu Cyborg, a title so awesome it makes Snakes on a Plane look like Lesbian Vampire Killers. Unfortunately, it’s basically a cheap Chinese ripoff of Transformers (I hear the DVDs are 76% lead), and considering the first 30 seconds of it is all context-free establishing shots set to bad audio, you wonder if they learned to cut trailers from the Birdemic guy (obscure enough reference for you? Christ.). Anyway, then it transitions into some fantastically low-budget CGI work and shots of indistinguishable robots. So, a lot like the American Transformers. I dunno, call me a hater, but when I hear a movie called Kung Fu Cyborg I expect to see some cyborgs doing Kung Fu. I guess I’m old fashioned like that. I also prefer the original title, Keanu Reeves.
[via Twitch]

I made that scratching “ahhhhhhh” noise from the Grudge the whole time and I think that really helped.
They kept the budget down by only using three different actors.
These cyborgs, do they like grape drank? I like my robots shuck and jive-y.
I’ll wait for the Lil’ Will Smiff remake.
Kung Fu cyborg say “man who go to bed with itchy butthole wake up with cycle helmet on penis”
Kung Fu cyborg say “WD 40 okay, WD 41 extra American OKAY!”
Kung Fu cyborg say “Michelle, go take nap, no more tequila for you rady”
I think _______ Cyborg movies are the wave of the future.
Mob Cyborg: As soon as I came off the assembly line, I always wanted to be a Cyborg Gangster.
Romantic Comedy Cyborg: See any Katherine Heigl or Matthew McConaughey movie.
The Kung Fu Cyborg can only be defeated by a SamuraiPod.
Even better, “SamuraI, Robot.”
These Cyborgs kick your ass, these Cyborgs kick your face, these Cyborgs kick your balls into outer space.
i wanna see “kung fu bjorn borg,” it’s like “wimbledon” if it were directed by quentin tarantino
Asian Gary Oldman at 00:57