07.21.09 GO NINJA GO NINJA GUHHHH….
So they’re making another live-action Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie. Mirage studios owns the rights and they just hired John Fusco to write the script. The best part of the story? Check out the heavy lifting the Variety writer has to do to make this sound like a good idea.
Fusco will certainly be able to handle the action elements.
He’s been practicing martial arts since he was 12, and continues to study Shaolin kung fu. He penned last year’s actioner “The Forbidden Kingdom,” starring Jackie Chan and Jet Li. He also wrote a redo of “The Seven Samurai” for the Weinstein Co. His other credits include “Hidalgo” and “Young Guns.” [Variety]
Wow, he’s been taking Kung Fu since he was 12??? Perfect! Who better to write a Ninja Turtles movie? Wait, I have an idea: What about Keanu Reeves? He knows Kung Fu AND has the added benefit of not having written Hidalgo.
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2010/08/VANILLA-ICE-NINJA-TURTLE-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2010/05/bay-turtle-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/12/CoolAsIce-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/04/teenage_mutant_ninja_turtle-150x150.jpg)
There are 22 comments about:
GO NINJA GO NINJA GUHHHH….
They could save a ton of money on makeup if they just give 50 Cent a red mask and a pair of sais.
Tell me you don’t see the resemblance.
Speaking of turtles…
[gets up, runs to dumper pulling seat of trousers away from ass chasam]
Mmmmm… turtles…
[leers at Girl Scout]
just for the sake of combining two posts:
do you think the kid who drank the gasoline is the zombie kid from the “i like turtles” video?
Bebop and Rocksteady will be illiterate and gold-toothed. Again. No one caught that the first time, did they? Filthy racists.
Keanu Reeves’ Ninja Turtles Script
*Splinter flies into Turtles’ Lair*
Michelangelo: Whoa.
Donatello: Dude.
Splinter: Shredder.
Leonardo: Bogus.
*Turtles fight Shredder atop a building and defeat him with some sweet bullet time stuff. Casey Jones shows up and they all do air guitar*
END.
I’ve been flogging the dog since I was 12, does that mean I can write and direct the Lassie reboot?
So these turtles worship a giant gerbil that crawls in and out of manholes?
My Mom and Dad used to shout “GO NINJA, GO NINJA, GO” at me while I potty trained.
If this means work for Corey Feldman, OK. Anything to keep him off my front lawn.
serious/
I just hope it’s as good as the first two. No kidding, I own those movies and they’re still good. The entire series of scenes in the first one at April’s farmhouse (capping off with the Jedi Spirit of Splinter talking to his sons) is what fully endeared the characters to me and is probably what made me love movies. If this one gets anywhere near the first two, I’ll be a happy guy (hopefully that screenwriter and the director don’t take cues from Transformers and G.I. Joe).
/serious
The NT’s finally say, “Enough of this shit!” And leave the sewers to squat some foreclosed single family dwellings on the posh Finger Lakes master planned community. No, nothing funny here, just a tragic vignette of the economic state of the land.
Wow, he’s been taking Kung Fu since he was 12???
I think the fact that I have been listening to the Wu Tang Clan’s Enter the Wu-Tang: 36 Chambers since 12, holds the same merit.
Fact.
I’m a Yellow belt.
Fact.
Wu Tang clan aint nothing to fuck with
Cowabunga, dude!
The first movie was on TV a few months ago- it holds up surprisingly well.
Variety hopes this project runs into some trouble, because they’ve already got “Teenage Mutant Ninja Hurdles?” ready to run as a headline.
and i didn’t think you could take a crappy sequel to a movie based on a crappy cartoon based on a kinda cool comic book down a notch…and yet young Mr. Ice was able to do so easily. bravo young sir….bravo indeed. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ol52eu67isk
Critics have always maintained that Kurosawa was weak in the pizza jokes department.
Donatello is the best.
UM, I DON’T THINK YOU REALIZE THAT EVEN IF THE DIRECTOR WAS TRAINED IN KUNG FU, THE TURTLES ARE TRAINED IN NINJITSU, THE JAPANESE ART OF NINJA-ING AND GUESS WHAT JAPAN IS AWESOME, HOME OF TENTACLES AND RAPE AND CRAZED HARRY POTTER FANS (ALL GOOD FOR WANK MATERIAL).
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