07.08.09 HEY GIRL, I WROTE YOU AN ALBUM
Aw, Baby Goose has a band. Specifically Dead Man’s Bones, a goth-folk duo made up of Ryan Gosling and Zach Shields. A record label called Anti has just announced that they’ll be putting out Dead Man’s self-titled debut album in October. Dead Man’s Bones? Anti? Oh, Baby Goose, it’s like we barely even knew you! Oh I see, you were just trying to sound “dangerous.” Well when you put it that way I guess it is pretty adorable. Haha, I love it when you wink and make air quotes. Let’s promise we’ll never fight and pinkie swear to be best friends forever.
Gosling described the motivation behind the album’s aesthetic: “You know when you’re a kid and you get crayons and papers and just draw whatever you want and it’s just a bunch of messy lines, but to you it makes sense, and then they put it on the fridge? From that point on, you’re always trying to get back on the fridge, you start drawing things that look like something, like, the more it looks like a horse, the more chance you have of getting it on the fridge. We wanted to get back to that place before we were trying to make the fridge. We wanted to work with people who hadn’t been affected in that way yet.” [via Pitchfork]
Translation: Girl, you make me feel just like a kid again. Let’s draw each other with crayon and I’ll play you this song I wrote about hot chocolate.
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HEY GIRL, I WROTE YOU AN ALBUM
Each copy comes with 2 discs, one at half volume, so as not to disturb anyone.
A 1, a 2, a 1, 2, 3, 4… Hey girl.
Girl, I took the hinges off this refrigerator so you wouldn’t get trapped in it and die or get chilly.
Anti…funny cause I was anti-Gosling Band even before you told me the name.
There is a hidden track of Gosling’s favorite study-tips:
“Tip #24. Study with a buddy. It’s more fun and you can help each other with tough problems. Even ones that aren’t from the homework, but from life.”
Hey girl, the band name was Zach’s idea. Turns out the Lovin’ Spoonful was already taken.
The most sensitive part of the vagina is called the Gosling.
Hey girl, if you like our show, please don’t hold up your lighter. Somebody could get hurt. Plus, it helps contribute to global warming.
Hey girl, I made you a mixtape. I added two of our tracks, one to the end of side A, the other to the beginning of side B. That way, if you don’t like our music, you can just flip the tape over and skip them both!
Gosling does not cut his hang nails. He gives them room to grow.
Ryan Gosling insists that his band mates aren’t his entourage, but his encourage.
Hey girl, I know our guitar parts are a little simple, but that’s just because I don’t feel comfortable playing the *whispers* G string.
Hey girl, don’t waste your money on a concert tee, I made you this sticker to wear.
Hey girl, when you sway to our music at our latest cafe show, be careful you don’t knock over your coffee. It’s hot and I don’t want you to get burned. And recycle the sleeve that’s made from recycled materials. We’ve only got one earth and she needs us to treat her right. Treat Her Right is our first single bye the way. We only offer it as a digital download to lessen our carbon footprint.
Ryan Gosling doesn’t pluck guitar strings. He gently pats them.
Hey girl, don’t hold up that lighter. Its very dangerous. Please use this light pen I got at office depot.
Lots of guitar players give their instruments a girl’s name. I named mine after my mom because she’s the most special lady in my life.
Goth-folk artists only use natural charcoal for eyeliner.
Ryan Gosling is afraid of the Peter Frampton talk box voice.
Hey girl, this next song is about taking a relationship to the next level. It’s called “Hey Girl, Is It OK If We Hold Hands”
Dead Man’s Bones’ posters are really just collages Ryan made from Tiger Beat and Teen People magazines
the previous weekwhen he was in High School.Hey Girl, when referencing our band, be sure to always say the complete “Dead Man’s Bones.” I respect Dave Matthews Band too much artistically for there to be any confusion when people talk about the music of DMB.
Ryan Gosling is looking for that “FreeCreditReport.com” sound…
Ryan Gosling is opening up for The Wiggles, but he’ll be in the crowd singing right after his set is done.
Hey Girl, I appreciate the standing ovation, but here, have a seat. You’ve worked hard today!
*pulls out chair
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