07.16.09 GEORGE LUCAS IS H’WOOD’S HIGHEST PAID
Forbes’ list of Hollywood’s highest-paid dudes came out recently, and not surprisingly, the biggest fat cat is the big fat cat-eater himself, George Lucas. My question: if George Lucas is making $170 million a year and Jerry Bruckheimer $100, why are their movies still such sucky, shameless cash grabs? Once you’ve made more money than you could ever spend, wouldn’t you want to do something that you can actually be proud of? In Bruckheimer’s case, I think he’s just really lazy. “A movie about guinea pig secret agents? Sure. F*ck it, why not. I mean, we’ve already done rapping kangaroos.” As for George Lucas… I think it’s pretty clear that he’s a robot. A machine being controlled by others whose mission is only to make more money. And the pilot sits in his bullfrog chin.
Here’s the top 10:
(numbers are from June 2008 to June 2009)
1. George Lucas – $170 million
2. Steven Spielberg – $150 million
3. Jerry Bruckheimer – $100 million
4. Jerry Seinfeld – $85 million
5. Tyler Perry – $75 million
6. Dick Wolf – $75 million
7. Harrison Ford – $65 million
8. Adam Sandler – $65 million
9. Larry David – $55 million
Dick Wolf is an awesome name… but an AWESOMER PROFESSION.
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There are 21 comments about:
GEORGE LUCAS IS H’WOOD’S HIGHEST PAID
*puts on 3 Dick Wolf Moon shirt*
I’m good to go.
Lucas converts half of his salary into Republic Credits anyway, so he shouldn’t be at #1.
“That’s pride fucking with you. Fuck pride. Pride only hurts, it never helps.”
Maybe George Lucas and Jerry Bruckheimer have somehow attained imortality, therefore enough is never enough.
Eddie Murphy’s hookers have a thing or two to learn from Tyler Perry.
THAT is how you make money cross-dressing.
George Lucas forms like Voltron from 1 KFC bucket of extra crispy and another KFC bucket of original recipe.
I’m starting to think George Lucas is a robot as well. I mean, have you ever seen on hair out of place on his head?
For a guy as unassuming as George Lucas, he sure is a fat, greedy bastard. He is evil. Evil down to his tiny black heart, which doesn’t pump blood like you and me, but a venomous oil.
Surely whoever’s supplying these guys coke is the highest paid. I’m calling shenanigans on this list anyway. Where the fuck is Tony Danza?
Actually, George Lucas earned $200 million this past fiscal year. He found $30 million under that ten pound goiter of his.
Still pulling in $170/year and yet the film still hasn’t turned a profit. Maybe next year, David Prowse.
What do they all have in common? Besides being unapologetic schlock-meisters? All secretly gay.
Uwe Boll made $175 million last year…in his mind.
My sense of creative justice just threw up three gallons of blood.
I just saw a commercial for Madea Goes to Prison on On Demand, and it made me wonder. Has anyone pointed out that he completely ripped off Fried Green Tomatoes?
You want to know why this happened? True story time kiddies!
I took some kids to go see Ice Age 3 last weekend, the G-Force trailer came on, there’s a scene where a G-Pig farts in a super hampter ball, green cloud appears, “Roll down the window!” says one “There are no windows” says the other, four or five adults!!!! around me laughed heartily.
That’s why this happens.
apba: Did the kids laugh? Because this upcoming video shows two adults thinking the best Transformers from Tr2nnies are the twins (cause they’re REALLY FUNNY) while two kids are still all on BumbleBee and Optimus. It simeltaneously made me hate humanity and have hope for it.
Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWllCb2urAY
Elsewhere in these rankings, my name is listed with an empty box of Cheez-Its and a 1997 issue of Swank.
Kids always laugh at farts. I felt the urge to look at these mouth breathers (no really, one of them huffed like Tony Soprano the whole movie long) and ask them what year of grade school they dropped out.
I’ll be God-dammned if I pay one penny to that fat fuck Lucas.
George Lucas only makes $170 million a year because half of it is from shitty video games. Buying Star Wars games is like watching Saturday Night Live every weekend. You hope at some point it’ll be good, but it always sucks.
Wow, Tyler Perry is America’s highest paid drag queen. Impressive.
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