07.28.09 GREAT IDEA, DUMBASS
A production company that remakes old horror movies is kinda like a meth dealer, and the clientele is largely the same. Platinum Dunes is just such a company. Their latest half-cooked project is a Nightmare on Elm Street remake, and director Samuel Bayer thinks he has a fool-proof plan to make us give a sh*t again. What’s that plan, you ask? MORE XXXXTREEEME!!! MORE BODIES HITTING THE FLOOOOR!!!
Fewer one-liners, more flat-liners. That’s what fans should expect when the rebooted Freddy Krueger shreds his way onto screens in April.
Also: less line reading, more line snorting.
“I don’t think it’s a funny movie. If a character is wisecracking and killing you at the same time, it’s not very funny,” says Samuel Bayer, director of the new A Nightmare on Elm Street. “I’m taking this very seriously.”
“It’s (going to be) darker, more serious, more intense and hopefully scarier,” says Jackie Earle Haley, who inherits the role [after resurrecting his career by playing a wisecracking killer in Watchmen -Ed] from genre icon Robert Englund . [Canoe]
I agree, serious and earnest is definitely the way to go when you’re doing an unnecessary remake. People love that. That’s why when I sing karaoke, I pretend I’m actually the person whose song I’m singing for at least a week ahead of time. And then when I sing the song, I do it better than the original. Because when I sing “I wanna hold your hand,” people know that I really do want to hold the f*ck out of your hand.
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There are 15 comments about:
GREAT IDEA, DUMBASS
What’s next? A Childs Play remake?
To show everyone he means business, he will insist you call him Fred Krueger.
So its not funny when people get murdered? Wait! What?
If memory serves, the original introduced some guy named Johnny Depp. Top that, casting director.
I like Sam Bayer. He directed Nirvana’s “Teen Spirit” video. That was scary.
“I don’t think it’s a funny movie.”
Fuck. You. Sideways.
In Samuel Bayer’s nightmare, the preschool has a security guard.
At least half the scattered Elm Streets throughout the midwest that this audience lives on are more frightening than any film. It’s cheaper to look out the window.
…and the clientele is largely the same.
Dissing the gore porn fetishists again I see. I’m dying to know what gets Vince off.
“If a character is wisecracking and killing you at the same time, it’s not very funny,” says Samuel Bayer. “I’m taking this very seriously.”
Yeah Sam I don’t blame you, best not open the Pandora’s box that is cracking wise, especially when you’re killer is only 5′ tall.
“…gacckkk ugghhh gaaakkk… hehe … arghh… in mother Russia… shrimp…. baahhh… skewers you.. baha… ha …………………………………………………..
Yeah, it’s probably for the best to treat the idea of a killer with knives for fingers who attacks people during their dreams with solemnity.
I would watch this if the Baby Goose was one of the potential victims.
“Ha, ha, you frighten me, Scratches.”
“I agree…when I sing karaoke….I pretend… I’m actually the person….I’m singing…when I sing….I do it…when I sing…I wanna hold….I really do want to hold the f*ck out of your hand.”
Someone sure likes to talk about himself.
*discreetly nods towards Vince*
so a movie about a guy who looks like buscemi after a fire with a claw hand and an ugly american eagle sweater who haunts your dreams is going to get MORE serious?? bring it on!
The thing i’ve been enjoying about these horror remakes is the better quality titties than there were in the originals.
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