07.20.09 FORGOTTEN CLASSICS: WORST. ENDING. EVER.
Movie news can get a little slow at times. Luckily, movie olds is a bottomless well of badness and unintentional hilarity, and that’s why we have the segment Forgotten Classics.
Today’s forgotten classic comes from Richard Horian’s 1987 film Student Confidential, and stars… Richard Horian (this happens a lot on Forgotten Classics). It features some incredibly cheesy music (composed by… you guessed it, Richard Horian), and the following dialog:
Joseph, there will be no concert today. If there were, we would have to trade places. Next time we meet, I want to tell you something I do know about. How to make inordinate amounts of money in the world of business.
And then they hold hands and STARE AT EACH OTHER FOR MORE THAN A MINUTE. It’s creepier than the Hobbit epilogues from Lord of the Rings and Mugatu staring down his assistant in Zoolander combined. Richard Horian went on to make one other movie in 1998, called Williamstowne. It has even less dialog than Student Confidential and appears to consist solely of cheesy music and meaningful looks. Watch the three-minute trailer that feels like 20 after the jump.
[Thanks to @greg_hudson for the tip]
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/10/karatedog8-whitebitches-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/09/skunk-dyke-rotor-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/09/steeldawn-hairguy-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/09/chickenmadness-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/08/kung-fu-gorilla-150x150.jpg)
There are 34 comments about:
FORGOTTEN CLASSICS: WORST. ENDING. EVER.
I stretch 3 minutes into twenty by pulling out after every pump and yelling, “Not yet!” at my unit.
Really freaks out the dog.
It still feels like 3, Crappy.
And quit calling me a dog.
3 at once baybeeee!! Booyah!
And by three, I mean three booze reeking fat homeless guys with gutter dick trying to fuck your armpit.
Reading the cast list, I see that there are three actresses listed as prostitutes. I think having “Played Prostitute #3 in ‘Student Confidential’” is the worst possible thing you can have on your resume.
So this is must be Tay Zonday’s early work.
I found it easier to watch by just imagining she was stroking my cock. Sometimes it’s how I get thru the entire day.
Richard Horian is the real life Garth Marenghi, minus the irony. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nNfQ0ORwSDM
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