FORGOTTEN CLASSICS: THE DUKE
07.13.09
Today’s Forgotten Classic is a little gem you might have missed from 1999 called The Duke. Tagline: “Royalty has gone to the dogs.” First line of the trailer: “He may have royal blood, but he ain’t nothing but a hound dog.” So it’s basically King Ralph if John Goodman was a bloodhound. Not surprisingly, the trailer is two and half minutes of pure sustained awesomeness.
Things to look for:
- 0:36 Doggy green screen shot, with flapping lips
- 0:44 Dog with a crown
- 0:54 Shaking paws with the queen
- 1:02 Hail to the duke!
- 1:29 SCOTTY SPIT TAKE!
- 1:39 Fart sound followed by dog-with-cocked-head reaction shot
- 1:59 Dog with goggles/dog in sidecar
- 2:15 Dog in croquet outfit, followed by man getting hit in the crotch with a croquet ball. Haha, get it?? Dogs can’t play croquet!!
Sadly, this was to be James “Scotty” Doohan’s last film role. He’s currently in heaven, arguing with Raul Julia over whose last movie was sh-ttier.
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/global/images/default-avatar.jpg){kind=avatar}
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/02/Huebel-gyllenhaal-carell-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/02/bourneleagcyteaserposter-150x150.jpg)
A dog as the King of England. Truely we live in interesting times…
Also if we are talking shit last movies didn’t Orson Freakin Wells finish with Transformers: The Movie?
To reiterate: Oh man! Oh dog!
The Dookie would be less shitty.
If this was released in Italy as Il Duce, I would somehow feel bad for Mussolini.
He’s turning the crown upside down
The tabloids explode when he takes an American woman’s leg as a mistress.
Bow…wow to the Duke.
England is going to war because of some Cocky-Spainaird.
He has a break with the Vatican when the Pup refuses him a divorce from his first bitch.
It’s ok, he was never really into Cat-holicism anyway.
Spike Lee was slightly miffed when Cool Breeze the Coon Hound was passed over for the lead.
Not too far fetched. Princess Diana has been playing dead for years.
Ha ha, OK Patches, we’ll watch The Duke again!
SPOILER ALERT – he pees all over his subjects and gets beaten with a rolled-up Magna Carta.
Asians are gonna eat this shit up.
The best part is where Duke meets The Duchess of Yorkies
Of course, the divorce issue wasn’t the only pain in the ass he had to deal with from a religious standpoint. I hear the Edict of Worms really tore him up inside too.
Don’t worry about overpopulation, dog lovers, he got neutered by the concept of the constitutional monarchy.
I like the scene where Duke tries to drink from the royal throne.
The inspirational story of Duke. A doggie born in litter, rising to royalty.
Watching this movie will give you a stye.
They roll out the red carpet, while he rolls out the “Red Rocket”.
in those days, wars were settled with hound to hound combat
[Crappy strolls up, limping, sunburnt on his dick, beach sand pours from ass crack as he sits at FD round table and knocks rust off of funny bone]
The Duke’s hundred years war was really only 9 years long in people years.
Producers have not made the money they hoped to off this film because of the rule that if a copy isn’t bought off the store shelf in 72 hours, it’s destroyed.
The Duke has been fighting with that Irish setter for years.
I blame my farts on this movie.
He starts the War of the Roses by digging up a protestant’s flower bed.
And people said my history degree would never be good for anything…
*cries, continues folding together pizza boxes*
Oh, hey. New up.
Does the Duke wear a Devo hat, at any stage?
If not, I turn up my nose at this.
This reminds me of the movie “The Last MVP of Scotland”