07.15.09 FORGOTTEN CLASSICS: DEATHBED
In case you haven’t noticed, I’ve started a new FilmDrunk segment. It’s called Forgotten Classics, and in it, I call your attention to older, awesomer movies you may have missed. I figure it’s a great way to keep from killing myself because I have to report another movie based on a kids’ toy, or Bridget Jones Diary 3. Oh yeah, they’re making that, hadn’t you heard? Who cares.
Anyway, today’s Forgotten Classic is 1977’s Deathbed: The Bed That Eats. (It may not technically be “forgotten,” because Patton Oswalt mentions it in a famous bit which I’ve included below). Things to look for in the Deathbed clip:
- 0:20 This guy wins the Oscar in mustache growing
- 1:30 The bed (I guess they’re sitting on a bed?) digests the guy with the gun - as represented by an arm coming out of some orangish foam. At which point the other guy takes his gun in order to defend himself against the bed. TO NO AVAIL.
- 1:38 The line “Oh, I’m being eaten alive,” delivered in a manner one might normally reserve for, “Oh, I found a penny on the ground.”
- 1:46 Dead men don’t smoke cigars! …OR DO THEY?
- 2:15 Bed eats a red flower - SYMBOLISM! (maybe?)
Boy, they just don’t make ‘em like this anymore. Thank God.
The Patton clip comes from this album, which I highly, highly recommend (please don’t pull the clip, lawyery types). Only Patton could start with Deathbed and eventually get to “50 d*cks in his ass like the tail of a peacock.” My hero.
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There are 51 comments about:
FORGOTTEN CLASSICS: DEATHBED
My grandpa I had to care for often slept UNDER his pillow on his deathbed.
I remember seeing this for rent at the video store. It was like two boxes away from “Chopping Mall”, which I rented. Over and over. Yet another forgotten classic.
What a sham
Sholy Hit. Durden is suddenly blocked by my company’s Sonic Wall. Yet I can still come here. Lucky You.
sounds like it’s time to stick some sparklers in the copy machine and duck…or sing happy birthday.
Deathbed is the date rape drug Charles Bronson invented.
I’m looking forward to DeathBed 2 Electric Waterbed
Listen, I’ll admit I’ve many times sat on a bed with another girl doing things like playing cards or braiding each other’s hair or turning a pillow fight into a hot steamy lesbian make-out session, but two men on a bed? That’s just gay.
The deathbed never forgets a face either. You see, it’s a memory foam mattress.
The deathbed is lonely. He only wants one nightstand.
You’ll find no comforter on this bed.
There is actually a bed-skirt in the room’s cross-dresser.
My bed used to be a deathbed, but my wife smothered it with fifteen pillows.
This bed got laughed out of a Motel 6 for not having enough bloodstains.
Ah, the Victorian era circus strongman ‘tache. Definitely due a revival.
I’d rather see “MethBed: The Bed That Eats People (Out).”
Deathbed: At Least Something in your Bedroom Swallows.
We inspected the bed with a black light and were alarmed at what we found. The bed was soiled in MURDER.
Russell Simmon’s Defbed doesn’t kill people, but it makes it hard for them to sleep with all the noise.
This is for people whose sleep number is 666.
I really shouldn’t drink at lunch…
Talk about a Bed and Breakfast!!!!!
Shit, that fag keeps typing shit with my computer when I leave the room.
Oh yes you should. I’m a little behind in my nomming, but it’s gonna be The Donk Show in there in a minute.
The line “Oh, I’m being eaten alive,” delivered in a manner one might normally reserve for, “Oh, I found a penny on the ground.”
Is this a transcript of DeathBed or Donk’s Wife?
FistO: My wife gets REALLY fucking excited when she finds a penny on the ground.
Not so sure about the other thing though.
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